Shakespeare, William · published 1623 · first performed or written 1608 (Annals) tragedy · King's Men T35 Fools, wit and railing typicality 0.82 · 519 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
You know neither me, yourselves, nor any thing: you are ambitious, for poor knaves caps and legs: you wear out a good wholesome Forenoon, in hearing a cause between an Orendge wife, and a Forsetseller, and then reiourne the Controversy of threepences to a second day of Audience. When you are hearing a matter between party and party, if you chance to be pinched with the Colic, you make faces like Mummers, set up the bloody Flag against all Patience, and in roaring for a Chamber-pot, dismiss the Controversy bleeding, the more entangled by your hearing: All the peace you make in their Cause, is calling both the parties Knaves. You are a pair of strange ones. Come, come, you are well understood to be a perfecter gyber for the Table, than a necessary Bencher in the Capitol. Our very Priests must become Mockers, if they shall encounter such ridiculous Subjects as you are, when you speak best unto the purpose. It is not worth the wagging of your Beards, and your Beards deserve not so honourable a grave, as to stuff a Butchers Cushion, or to be entombed in an Asses Packesaddle; yet you must be saying, Martius is proud: who in a cheap estimation, is worth all your predecessors, since Deucalion, though peradventure some of the best of 'em were hereditary hangmen. God-den to your Worships, more of your conversation would infect my Brain, being the Herdsmen of the Beastly Plebeians. I will be bold to take my leave of you. How now (my as fair as Noble) Ladies, and the Moon were she Earthly, no Nobler; whither do you follow your Eyes so fast? Honourable Menenius, my Boy Martius approaches: for the love of Iuno let's go. Ha'? Martius coming home? I, worthy Menenius, and with most prosperous approbation. Take my Cap Iupiter, and I thank thee: ho, Martius coming home? Nay, 'tis true. Look, here's a Letter from him, the State hath another, his Wife another, and (I think) there's one at home for you. I will make my very house reel to night: A Letter for me? Yes certain, there's a Letter for you, I saw't. A Letter for me? it gives me an Estate of seven years health; in which time, I will make a Lip at the Physician: The most sovereign Prescription in Galen, is but Empiric qutique; and to this preservative, of no better report than a Horse-drench. Is he not wounded? he was wont to come home wounded? Oh no, no, no. Oh, he is wounded, I thank the Gods for't. So do I too, if it be not too much: brings a Victory in his Pocket? the wounds become him. On's Brows: Menenius, he comes the third time home with the Oaken Garland. Has he disciplined Auffidius sound? Titus Lartius writeth, they fought together, but Auffidius got off. And 'twas time for him too, I'll warrant him that: and he had stayed by him, I would not have been so fiddioused, for all the Chests in Carioles, and the Gold that's in them. Is the Senate possessed of this?
nodes 770–790 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 14 of 54 in this edition
Length
519 words · 739 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T35 — Fools, wit and railingcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.823 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T58 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
You know neither mee, your ſelues, nor any thing: you are ambitious, for poore knaues cappes and legges: you weare out a good wholeſome Forenoone, in hearing a cauſe betweene an Orendge wife, and a Forſetſeller, and then reiourne the Controuerſie of three-pence to a ſecond day of Audience. When you are hearing a matter betweene party and party, if you chaunce to bee pinch'd with the Collicke, you make faces like Mummers, ſet vp the bloodie Flagge againſt all Patience, and in roaring for a Chamber-pot, diſmiſſe the Controuerſie bleeding, the more intangled by your hearing: All the peace you make in their Cauſe, is calling both the parties Knaues. You are a payre of ſtrange ones. Come, come, you are well vnderſtood to bee a perfecter gyber for the Table, then a neceſſary Bencher in the Capitoll. Our very Prieſts muſt become Mockers, if they ſhall encounter ſuch ridiculous Subiects as you are, when you ſpeake beſt vnto the purpoſe. It is not woorth the wagging of your Beards, and your Beards deſerue not ſo honourable a graue, as to ſtuffe a Botchers Cuſhion, or to be intomb'd in an Aſſes Packe-ſaddle; yet you muſt bee ſaying, Martius is proud: who in a cheape eſtimation, is worth all your predeceſſors, ſince Deucalion, though peraduenture ſome of the beſt of 'em were hereditarie hangmen. Godden to your Worſhips, more of your conuerſation would infect my Braine, being the Heardſmen of the Beaſtly Plebeans. I will be bold to take my leaue of you. How now (my as faire as Noble) Ladyes, and the Moone were ſhee Earthly, no Nobler; whither doe you follow your Eyes ſo faſt? Honorable Menenius, my Boy Martius approches: for the loue of Iuno let's goe. Ha? Martius comming home? I, worthy Menenius▪ and with moſt proſperous approbation. Take my Cappe Iupiter, and I thanke thee: hoo, Martius comming home? Nay, 'tis true. Looke, here's a Letter from him, the State hath another, his Wife another, and (I thinke) there's one at home for you. I will make my very houſe reele to night: A Letter for me? Yes certaine, there's a Letter for you, I ſaw't. A Letter for me? it giues me an Eſtate of ſeuen yeeres health; in which time, I will make a Lippe at the Phyſician: The moſt ſoueraigne Preſcription in Galen, is but Emperick qutique; and to this Preſeruatiue, of no better report then a Horſe-drench. Is he not wounded? he was wont to come home wounded? Oh no, no, no. Oh, he is wounded, I thanke the Gods for't. So doe I too, if it be not too much: brings a Victorie in his Pocket? the wounds become him. On's Browes: Menenius, hee comes the third time home with the Oaken Garland. Ha's he diſciplin'd Auffidius ſoundly? Titus Lartius writes, they fought together, but Auffidius got off. And 'twas time for him too, Ile warrant him that: and he had ſtay'd by him, I would not haue been ſo fiddious'd, for all the Cheſts in Carioles, and the Gold that's in them. Is the Senate poſſeſt of this?