Like Will to Like (Quoth the Devil to the Collier) · chunk 7 of 23
Fulwell, Ulpian · published 1587 · first performed or written 1568 [1562-1568] (Annals) moral T47 Knaves, thieves and bawds typicality 0.81 · 520 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T47: knave, rogue, money, knaves, thief, rogues, pray, whore, nichol, book.
And am I plain Nichol? and yet it is in my arbitrement? to judge which of you two is the veriest knave: I am master Nichol Newfangle both gay and brave. For seeing you make me your judge I crow: I shall teach you both your lirripoop to know. Stay yourself I pray you heartily. I pray you be content and we will be more mannerly. Nay I cannot put up such an injury. For seeing I am in office I will be known therefore, Fend your heads sirs for for I will fight once more, I pray you be content good gentle master Nichol, I never saw the like by gog's soul. Well my masters because you do intend: to learn good manners and your conditions to amend. I will have but one fit more and so make an end. I pray you sir let us no more contend. Marry this hath breathed me very well: Now let me hear how you your tales can tell. And I master judge wit so bring to pass: that I will judge who shallbe knave of Clubs at Christmas gog's wounds I am like Phalaris that made a bull of brass, Thou art like a false knave now and ever more was. Nay I am like Phalaris that made a bull of brass, As a cruel torment for such as did offend: and he himself first therein put was: Even so are we brought to this end. In ordaining him a judge who will be honoured as a God: So for our own tails we have made a rod. And I am served as Hamao that prepared, How was he served I pray thee do me tell, Whom I speak of thou knowest not well. Thou art served as Harry hangman captain of the black guard, Nay I am served as Haman that prepared. A high pair of gallows for Mardocheus the Iew, and was the first that thereon was hanged: So I feel the smart at mine own too this is true. But hereafter I will learn to be wise, and ere I leap once I will look twice. Well Tom tosspot first let me hear thee, How canst thou prove thyself a verier knave than he You know that Tom tosspot men do me call, A knave thou hast always been and ever shall. My conditions I am sure ye know as well as I, A knave thou wast born and so shalt thou die. But that you are a judge. I would say unto you, Knaves are Christen men else you are a iew. He calleth me knave by craft, do you not see? Sirrah I will remember it when you think not on me. Well say what thou canst for thine own behoof: If thou prove thyself the verier Knave by good proof. Thou must be the elder brother and have the patrimony, And when he hath said then do thou reply Even Thomas a waterings, or Tyburn hill: to the falsest thief of you both by my father's will. I pray you sir what is that patrimony?
nodes 330–384 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 7 of 23 in this edition
Length
520 words · 649 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T47 — Knaves, thieves and bawdscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.807 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T46 · seed 44: T41 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
¶ And am I plaine Nichole? and yet it is in my arbitrement? to Iudge which of you two is the veriest knaue: I am maister Nichole Newfangle both gay and braue. For seeing you make me your Iudge I crowe: I shall teach you both your leripup to knowe. * Stay your self I pray you hartely. ¶ I pray you be content and we wil be more manerly. ¶ ay I cannot put vp such an iniury. For seing I am in office I wil be known therfore, Fend your heds sirs for for I wil fight once more, ¶ I pray you be content good gentle maister Nichole, ¶ I neuer saw the like by gogs soule. ¶ Wel my maisters because you doo intend: to learn good manners and your conditions to amend. I wil haue but one fit more and so make an end. ¶ I pray you sir let vs no more contend. ¶ Mary this hath brethed me very wel: Now let me heare how you your tales can tel. And I maister iudge wit so bring to passe: that I wil iudge who shalbe knaue of Clubs at Christmas ‡ Gogs wounds I am like Phalaris ye made a bul of brasse, ‡ Thou art like a false knaue now and euer more was. ‡ Nay I am like Phalaris that made a bul of brasse, As a cruell torment for such as did offend: and he him self first therin put was: Euen so are we brought to this end. In ordaining him a iudge who wil be honored as a God: So for our own tailes we haue made a rod. ‡ And I am serued as Hamao that preparde, ‡ How was he serued I pray thee doo me tel, ‡ VVhom I speak of thou knowest not wel. ‡ Thou art serued a Hary hangman captain of the black garde, ‡ Nay I am serued as Haman that preparde. A high paire of gallous for Mardocheus the Iew, and was the first that theron was hanged: So I feele the smart at mine owne too this is true. But heerafter I wil learn to be wise, and ere I leap once I wil look twice. ‡ VVel Tom tospot first let me heare thee, How canst thou proue thy self a verier knaue then hee ‡ You know that Tom tospot men doo me call, ‡ A knaue thou hast alwaies been and euer shall. ‡ My conditions I am sure ye know as wel as I, ‡ A knaue thou wast born and so shalt thou dye. ‡ But that you are a iudge. I would say vnto you, Knaues are Christen men els you are a iew. ‡ He calleth me knaue by craft, doo you not see? Sirra I wil remember it when you think not on me. VVel say what thou canst for thine own behoof: If thou proue thy self the verier Knaue by good proof. Thou must be the elder brother and haue the patrimony, And when he hath said then doo thou reply Euen Thomas a warings, or Tiburn hil: to the falsest theef of you both by my fathers wil. ‡ I pray you sir what is that patrimony?