Ford, John · published 1629 · first performed or written 1628 [licensed for stage, Nov 24] (Annals) tragicomedy · King's Men · Globe unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 492 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Agelastus, so surnamed for his gravity, Was a very wise fellow, kept his countenance All days of his life as demurely, as a judge that Pronounceth sentence of death, on a poor Rogue, For stealing as much bacon, as would serve at a meal With a calf's head. Yet he smiled once, And never but once: Thou art no Scholar? I have read Pamphlets dedicated to me: Dost call him Agelastus? why did he laugh? To see an Ass eat Thistles. Puppy, go study to be a singular Coxcomb. Cuculus is an Ordinary Ape, but thou art an Ape of an Ape. Thou hast a Patent to abuse thy friends: Look, look, he comes, observe him seriously. Reach me my sword and buckler. They are here, forsooth. How now (minx) how now? Where is your duty, your distance? Let me have service methodically tendered; you are now One of us. Your curtsy; good: remember that you are To practise Courtship: was thy father a Piper, sayst thou? A sounder of some such wind instrument forsooth. Was he so? hold up thy head; be thou musical To me, and I will marry thee to a dancer: one That shall ride on his Foot-cloth, and maintain thee In thy Muff and Hood. That will be fine indeed. That art yet but simple. D'ee think so? I have a brain; I have a head-piece; O my conscience, if I take pains with thee, I should Raise thy understanding (Girl) to the height of a nurse, Or a Court-midwife at least, I will make thee big In time, wench. E'en do your pleasure with me, Sir. Noble accomplished Cuculus. Give me thy fist, Innocent. Would 'twere in thy belly, there 'tis. That's well, he's an honest blade, though he be blunt. Who cares? we can be as blunt as he for's life. Cuculus, there is within a mile or two, a Sow-pig Hath sucked a Brach, and now hunts the deer, the Hare, Nay, most unnaturally the wild Boar, as well as any Hound in Cyprus. Monstrous Sow-pig! is't true? I'll be at charge of a banquet on thee for a sight of her. Every thing takes after the dam that gave it suck: Where hadst thou thy milk? I? Why, my nurse's husband was a most excellent maker Of shuttlecocks. My nurse was a woman-surgeon. And who gave thee pap, Mouse? I never sucked that I remember. La now, a shuttlecock-maker, all thy brains are stuck with cork and feather. Cuculus, this learned Courtier takes after the nurse too, a she-surgeon, which is in effect a mere matter of colours. Go, learn to paint and daub compliments, 'tis the next step to run into a new suit; my Lady Periwinkle here never sucked; suck thy Master, and bring forth mooncalves, Fop, do; This is good Philosophy, Sirs, make use on't. Bless us, what a strange Creature this is? A Gull, an arrant Gull by Proclamation.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Agelastus, so surnamed for his grauity, Was a very wise fellow, kept his countenance All dayes of his life as demurely, as a Iudge that Pronounceth sentence of death, on a poore Roague, For stealing as much bacon, as would serue at a meale With a Calues head. Yet he smil'd once, And neuer but once: Thou art no Scholler? I haue read Pamphlets dedicated to me: Dost call him Agelastus? why did he laugh? To see an Asse eate Thistles. Puppy, go study to be a singular Coxcomb. Cuculus is an Ordinary Ape, but thou art an Ape of an Ape. Thou hast a Patent to abuse thy friends: Looke, looke, he comes, obserue him seriously. Reach me my sword and buckler. They are here, forsooth. How now (Minkes) how now? Where is your duty, your distance? Let me haue seruice methodically tendred; you are now One of vs. Your cursey; good: remember that you are To practise Courtship▪ was thy father a Piper, saist thou? A sounder of some such wind instrumēt forsooth. Was he so? hold vp thy head; be thou musicall To me, and I will marry thee to a dancer: one That shall ryde on his Foot-cloth, and maintaine thee In thy Muffe and Hood. That will be fine indeed. That art yet but simple. Dee thinke so? I haue a braine; I haue a head-piece; O my conscience, if I take paines with thee, I shood Raise thy vnderstanding (Girle) to the height of a nurse, Or a Court-midwife at least, I will make thee big In time, wench. E'en doe your pleasure with me, Sir. Noble accomplisht Cuculus. Giue me thy fist, Innocent. Would 'twere in thy belly, there tis. That's well, hee's an honest blade, though he be blunt. Who cares? we can be as blunt as he for's life. Cuculus, there is within a mile or two, a Sow-pig Hath suckt a Brach, and now hunts the Deere, the Hare, Nay, most vnnaturally the wilde Bore, Aswell as any Hound in Cyprus. Monstrous Sow-pig! ist true? Ile be at charge of a banket on thee for a sight of her. Euery thing takes after the dam that gaue it suck: Where hadst thou thy milke? I? Why, my nurses husband was a most excellent maker Of Shittle-cocks. My nurse was a woman-surgeon. And who gaue thee pap, Mouse? I neuer suckt that I remember. La now, a Shittle-cock-maker, all thy braines are stucke with corke and feather. Cuculus, this learned Courtier takes after the nurse too, a she-surgeon, which is in effect a meere matter of colours. Goe, learne to paint and dawbe complements, tis the next step to run into a new suit; my Lady Periwinckle here neuer suckt; suck thy Master, and bring forth Moonecalues, Fop, doe; This is good Philosophy, Sirs, make vse on't. Blesse vs, what a strange Creature this is? A Gull, an arrant Gull by Proclamation.