Wine, Beer, and Ale Together by the Ears (Wine, Beer, Ale, and Tobacco Contending for Superiority) · chunk 3 of 10
Anonymous · published 1629 · first performed or written 1625 [1624-1626(?)] (Annals) dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 496 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
There's thy ignorance, 'tis an excellent discourser, and a help for the imperfections of nature. As how, pray sir? Why, when a man hath not the wit to deliver his meaning in good words, this being taken, does presently help him to spit it out Gentlemanlike. Indeed the best part of our common compliment is but smoke, and now I know how Gentlemen come by it, but me thinks for all that, it takes from the honour of a Gentleman, to be a common Piper, and if the premises be well considered, we may conclude, they are no more men that use it. How? not men? why? Because it makes 'em children again, for I am sure they that use it most, do but suck all the day long, and they are little better than children then. But see sir, here's Master Beer. How, Beer? we are not very good friends, no matter, I scorn to avoid him. Beere-leave sir. So me thinks? how now Beer, running a-tilt, dost not know me? I do mean to have the wall on you. The wall of me, you would have your head and the wall knocked together, learn better manners, or I may chance to broach you. Broach me, alas poor Wine, 'tis not your Fierifacias can make Beer afraid, thy betters know the strength of Beer. I do not fear your high colour sir. So, so, here will be some scuffling. You'll leave your impudence, and learn to know your superiors Beer, or I may chance to have you stopped up, what never leave working? I am none of your fellows. I scorn thou shouldst. I am a companion for Princes, the least drop of my blood, worth all thy body. I am sent for by the Citizens, visited by the Gallants, kissed by the Gentlewomen: I am their life, their Genius, the Poetical fury, the Helicon of the Muses, of better vaive than Beer; I should be sorry else. Thou art sorry Wine indeed sometimes: Value? you are come up of late, men pay dear for your company, and repent it: that gives you not the precedency; though Beer set not so great a price upon himself, he means not to bate a grain of his worth, nor subscribe to Wine for all his braveries. Not to me? Not to you: why, whence come you pray? From France, from Spain, from Greece. Thou art a mad Greek indeed. Where thou must never hope to come: who dares deny that I have been a traveller? A traveller? in a tumbril, a little Beer will go farther: why Wine, art not thou kept under lock and key, confined to some corner of a Cellar, and there indeed commonly close prisoner, unless the jailor or Yeoman of the Bottles turn the Key for the chambermaid now and then, for which she vows not to leave him, till the last gasp, where Beer goes abroad, and rendezvous in every place.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
There's thy ignorance, tis an excellent diſcourſer, and a helpe for the imperfections of nature. As how, pray ſir? Why, when a man hath not the wit to deliuer his meaning in good words, this being taken, dus preſently helpe him to ſpit it out Gentleman-like. Indeed the beſt part of our common complement is but ſmoake, and now I know how Gentlemen come by it, but me thinkes for all that, it takes from the honour of a Gentleman, to bee a common Piper, and if the premiſes bee well conſidered, wee may conclude, they are no more men that vſe it. How? not men? why? Becauſe it makes em children againe, for I am ſure they that vſe it moſt, doe but ſucke all the day long, and they are little better then children then. But ſee ſir, here's Maſter Beere. How, Beere? we are not very good friends, no matter, I ſcorne to auoid him. Beere-leaue ſir. So me thinkes? how now Beere, running atilt, doſt not know me? I doe meane to haue the wall on you. The wall of me, you would haue your head and the wall knockt together, learne better manners, or I may chance to broach you. Broach me, alas poore Wine, tis not your Fierifacias can make Beere afraid, thy betters know the ſtrength of Beere. I doe not feare your high colour ſir. So, ſo, here will be ſome ſcuffling. You'le leaue your impudence, and learne to know your ſuperiours Beere, or I may chance to haue you ſtopt vp, what neuer leaue working? I am none of your fellowes. I ſcorne thou ſhouldſt. I am a companion for Princes, the leaſt droppe of my blood, worth all thy body. I am ſent for by the Citizens, viſited by the Gallants, kiſt by the Gentlewomen: I am their life, their Genius, the Poeticall furie, the Helicon of the Muſes, of better vaiue then Beere; I ſhould be ſorry elſe. Thou art ſorie Wine indeed ſometimes: Value? you are come vp of late, men pay deere for your company, and repent it: that giues you not the precedencie; though Beere ſet not ſo great a price vpon himſelfe, hee meanes not to bate a graine of his worth, nor ſubſcribe to Wine for all his braueries. Not to mee? Not to you: why, whence come you pray? From France, from Spaine, from Greece. Thou art a mad Greeke indeed. Where thou muſt neuer hope to come: who dares denie that I haue been a trauailer? A trauailer? in a tumbrell, a little Beere will go farther: why Wine, art not thou kept vnder locke and key, confinde to ſome corner of a Cellar, and there indeed commonly cloſe priſoner, vnleſſe the Iaylor or Yeoman of the Bottles turne the Key for the chamber-maid now and then, for which ſhee vowes not to leaue him, till the laſt gaſpe, where Beere goes abroad, and randeuous in euery place.