Wine, Beer, and Ale Together by the Ears (Wine, Beer, Ale, and Tobacco Contending for Superiority) · chunk 4 of 10
Anonymous · published 1629 · first performed or written 1625 [1624-1626(?)] (Annals) dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 482 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Thou in every place? away hop of my thumb: Beer, I am ashamed of thee. Be ashamed of thyself, and blush Wine thou art no better. Beer shall have commendations for his mildness and virtue, when thou art spit out of men's mouths, & distasted: thou art an hypocrite, Wine, art all white sometimes, but more changeable than Proteus: thou wouldst take upon thee to comfort the blood, but hast been the cause that too many noble veins have been emptied: thy virtue is to betray secrets, the very preparative to a thousand rapes and murders, and yet thou darest stand upon thy credit, and prefer thyself to Beer, that is as clear as day. Well said Beer, he bears up stiff like a Constable. Now will I play my part with 'em both. Sir, This is intolerable. The vessel of your wit leaks, Beer: why thou art drunk. So art thou Wine, every day i'th' week, and art fain to be carried forth of doors. How sir? I scorn thy words, thou art base Beer: Wine is well borne, has good breeding, and bringing up; thou deservest to be carted, Beer. Suffer this, and suffer all, to him again. Carted? thou wouldst be carted thyself, racked and drawn for thy baseness, Wine. Welborne? Did not every man call you Bastard other day? borne? there's no man able to bear thee much: and for breeding, I know none thou hast, unless it be Diseases. How, diseases? you have been held always to be wholesome Wine, sir. Sirrah, if I take you in hand, I shall make you small Beer. Take heed I do not make Vinegar of you first. Do, do, make him piss it, in my opinion sir, it were not for your honour to run away: yet Beer being a common quarreller, I fear may prove too hard for you. Too hard for me? away Boy, I'll be as hard as he for his heart: alas, he's but weak Beer, if I give him but a tap, it shall stay him from running out thus. So, so, they are high enough, fall too, and welcome. Who's this? Ale? Oh for a three-mans-Song: this Ale is a stout fellow, it shall go hard, but Sugar which makes all sweet sometimes, shall set him in his part of Discord. Come, come, Beer, you forget how low you were other day: provoke me not too much, lest I bestow a firkin on you. Strike and thou darest Wine, I shall make thee answer as quick as the objection, and give you a dash. Umh: what's this? it seems there's great difference between Wine and Beer. Sugar, what's the matter? Oh goodman Ale, I am glad you're come, here's nothing but contention: I have gone betwixt 'em twice or thrice, but I fear, one or both will be spilt. What do they contend about?
seed 43: T58 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Thou in euery place? away hop of my thumbe: Beere, I am aſham'd of thee. Be aſham'd of thy ſelfe, and bluſh Wine thou art no better. Beere ſhall haue commendations for his mildneſſe and vertue, when thou art ſpit out of mens mouthes, & diſtaſted: thou art an hypocrite, Wine, art all white ſometimes, but more changeable then Proteus: thou wouldſt take vpon thee to comfort the blood, but haſt beene the cauſe that too many noble veines haue beene emptied: thy vertue is to betray ſecrets, the very preparatiue to a thouſand rapes and murders, and yet thou dareſt ſtand vpon thy credit, and preferre thy ſelfe to Beere, that is as cleare as day. Well ſaid Beere, hee beares vp ſtiffe like a Conſtable. Now will I play my part with 'em both. Sir, This is intollerable. The veſſell of your wit leakes, Beere: why thou art drunke. So art thou Wine, euery day i'th weeke, and art faine to be carried foorth of doores. How ſir? I ſcorne thy words, thou art baſe Beere: Wine is well borne, has good breeding, and bringing vp; thou deſerueſt to be carted, Beere. Suffer this, and ſuffer all, to him againe. Carted? thou wouldſt be carted thy ſelfe, rackt and drawne for thy baſeneſſe, Wine. Welborne? Did not euery man call you Baſtard tother day? borne? there's no man able to beare thee much: and for breeding, I know none thou haſt, vnleſſe it bee Diſeaſes. How, diſeaſes? you haue beene held alwayes to bee wholeſome Wine, ſir. Sirra, if I take you in hand, I ſhall make you ſmall Beere. Take heed I doe not make Vineger of you firſt. Doe, doe, make him piſſe it, in my opinion ſir, it were not for your honor to run away: yet Beere being a common quarreler, I feare may prooue too hard for you. Too hard for me? away Boy, Ile be as hard as he for his heart: alas, hee's but weake Beere, if I giue him but a tap, it ſhall ſtay him from running out thus. So, ſo, they are high enough, fall too, and welcome. Who's this? Ale? Oh for a three-mans-Song: this Ale is a ſtout fellow, it ſhall go hard, but Sugar which makes all ſweet ſometimes, ſhall ſet him in his part of Diſcord. Come, come, Beere, you forget how low you were tother day: prouoke mee not too much, leſt I beſtow a firkin on you. Strike and thou dar'ſt Wine, I ſhall make thee anſwer as quicke as the obiection, and giue you a daſh. Vmh: what's this? it ſeemes theres great difference betweene Wine and Beere. Sugar, what's the matter? Oh goodman Ale, I am glad you'r come, heere's nothing but contention: I haue gone betwixt 'em twice or thrice, but I feare, one or both will be ſpilt. What doe they contend about?