Wine, Beer, and Ale Together by the Ears (Wine, Beer, Ale, and Tobacco Contending for Superiority) · chunk 6 of 10
Anonymous · published 1629 · first performed or written 1625 [1624-1626(?)] (Annals) dialogue unassigned nearest T44 Drinking: wine, ale and taverns · 489 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T44: drink, wine, numps, ale, butler, pot, sing, moy, drunk, win.
Wine, you're very harsh. Let him, my second prerogative is my riches and possessions; for who knows not how many houses I have: Wine and Beer are fain to take up a corner, your ambition goes no further than a Seller, where the whole house where I am is mine, goes only by my name, is called an Alehouse; but when is either heard, the Wine-house, or the Beerhouse, you cannot pass a street: wherein I have not houses of mine own, besides many that go by other men's names. I confess you have here and there an Alehouse, but whose are all the rest? hath not Beer as much title to them? And yet I have not heard that either of you both have fined for Alderman, though I confess something has been attempted out of nick and froth. Be ruled by me, Beer and Ale, & aspire no higher than the Common-Councell-houses? Oh impudence, that either of you should talk of houses, when sometimes you are both glad of a tub: dye hear Ale? do not you know the man that did the Bottle bring? Thou art glad of a Bottle thyself, Wine, sometimes, and so is Beer too, for all he ●●oths now. So, so. My third Prerogative, is my Learning. Learning? If you have the Liberal Sciences, pray be free, and let's hear some. For that, though I could give you demonstration, for brevity's sake I remit you to my books. Books? printed Cum privilegio no doubt on't, and sold for the Company of Stationers: what are the names? Admire me, but when I name learned, though not the great Alexander Ale, and Tost-atus the Iesuite. O learned Ale, you scorn to make Indentures any more, but you might as well have concluded this without book. Why, you will shortly be Town-clerk, the City Chronicler is too mean a place for you. Now for my strength and invincibility. But here let me interrupt you, talk no more of strength, none but Beer deserves to be called strong, no pen is able to set down my victories. I? why, I have been the destruction.— Of Troy, hast not? here your own mouths condemn you: if killing be your conquest, every Quacksaluing knave may have the credit of a rare Physician, that sends more to the Church and Churchyard, than diseases do: I Wine, comfort and preserve, let that be my Character. I am cousin German to the blood, not so like in my appearance as I am in nature, I repair the debilities of age, and revive the refrigerated spirits, exhilarate the heart, and steel the brow with confidence. For you both the Poet hath drawn your memorial in one. Nothing goes in so thick, Nothing comes out so thin: It must needs follow then, Your dregs are left within. And so I leave you Stygiae monstrum conforme paludi, a monstrous drink, like the river Styx.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Wine, you're very harſh. Let him, my ſecond prerogatiue is my riches and poſſeſſions; for who knowes not how many houſes I haue: Wine and Beere are faine to take vp a corner, your ambition goes no further then a Seller, where the whole houſe where I am is mine, goes onely by my name, is cald an Alehouſe; but when is either heard, the Wine-houſe, or the Beere-houſe, you cannot paſſe a ſtreete: wherein I haue not houſes of mine owne, beſides many that goe by other mens names. I confeſſe you haue here and there an Alehouſe, but whoſe are all the reſt? hath not Beere as much title to them? And yet I haue not heard that either of you both haue fin'd for Alderman, though I confeſſe ſomething has bin attempted out of nicke and froth. Be rul'd by me, Beere and Ale, & aſpire no higher then the Common-Councell-houſes? Oh impudence, that either of you ſhould talke of houſes, when ſometimes you are both glad of a tub: dee heare Ale? doe not you know the man that did the Bottle bring? Thou art glad of a Bottle thy ſelfe, Wine, ſometimes, and ſo is Beere too, for all he oths now. So, ſo. My third Prerogatiue, is my Learning. Learning? If you haue the Liberall Sciences, pray be free, and lets heare ſome. For that, though I could giue you demonſtration, for breuities ſake I remit you to my bookes. Bookes? printed Cum priuilegio no doubt on't, and ſold for the Company of Stationers: what are the names? Admire me, but when I name learned, though not the great Alexander Ale, and Toſt-atus the Ieſuite. O learned Ale, you ſcorne to make Indentures any more, but you might as well haue concluded this without booke. Why, you will ſhortly be Towne-Clerke, the Citie Chronicler is too meane a place for you. Now for my ſtrength and invincibilitie. But heere let mee interrupt you, talke no more of ſtrength, none but Beere deſerues to bee call'd ſtrong, no pen is able to ſet downe my victories. I? why, I haue been the deſtruction.— Of Troy, haſt not? heere your owne mouthes condemne you: if killing be your conqueſt, euery Quackſaluing knaue may haue the credit of a rare Phiſician, that ſends more to the Church and Churchyard, then diſeaſes doe: I Wine, comfort and preſerue, let that be my Character. I am coſen German to the blood, not ſo like in my appearance as I am in nature, I repaire the debilities of age, and reuiue the refrigerated ſpirits, exhilarate the heart, and ſteele the brow with confidence. For you both the Poet hath drawne your memoriall in one. Nothing goes in ſo thicke, Nothing comes out ſo thinne: It muſt needs follow then, Your dregs are left within. And ſo I leaue you Stygiae monſtrum conforme paludi, a monſtrous drinke, like the riuer Styx.