Wine, Beer, and Ale Together by the Ears (Wine, Beer, Ale, and Tobacco Contending for Superiority) · chunk 3 of 12
Anonymous · published 1630 · first performed or written 1625 [1624-1626(?)] (Annals) dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 507 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
So, so, here will be some scuffling. You'll leave your impudence, and learn to know your superiors Beer, or I may chance to have you stopped up. what never leave working? I am none of your fellows. I scorn thou shouldst. I am a companion for Princes, the least drop of my blood, worth all thy body. I am sent for by the Citizens, visited by the Gallants, kissed by the Gentlewomen: I am their life, their Genius, the Poetical fury, the Helicon of the Muses, of better value than Beer; I should be sorry else. Thou art sorry wine indeed sometimes: Value? you are come up of late, men pay dear for your company, and repent it: that gives you not the precedency; though Beer set not so great a price upon himself, he means not to bate a grain of his worth, nor subscribe to Wine for all his braveries, Not to me? Not to you: why whence come you pray? From France, from Spain, from Greece. Thou art a mad Greek indeed. Where thou must never hope to come: who dares deny that I have been a traveller? A traveller? in a tumbril, a little Beer will go farther: why Wine, art not thou kept under lock and key, confined to some corner of a Cellar, and there indeed commonly close prisoner, unless the jailor or Yeoman of the Bottles turn the Key for the chambermaid now and then, for which she vows not to leave him, till the last gasp, where Beer goes abroad, and rendezvous in every place. Thou in every place? away hop of my thumb: Beer, I am ashamed of thee. Be ashamed of thyself, and blush Wine thou art no better. Beer shall have commendations for his mildness and virtue, when thou art spit out of men's mouths, & distasted: thou art an hypocrite, Wine, art all white sometimes, but more changeable than Proteus: thou wouldst take upon thee to comfort the blood, but haste been the cause that too many noble veins have been emptied: thy virtue is to betray secrets, the very preparative to a thousand rapes and murders, and yet thou darest stand upon thy credit, and prefer thyself to Beer, that is as clear as day. Well said Beer, he bears up stiff like a Constable. Now will I play my part with 'em both. Sir, This is intolerable. The vessel of your wit leaks, Beer, why thou art drunk. So art thou Wine, every day i'th' week, and art fain to be carried forth of doors. How sir? I scorn thy words, thou art base Beer: Wine is well borne, has good breeding, and bringing up; thou deservest to be carted, Beer. Suffer this, and suffer all, to him again. Carted? thou would be carted thyself, racked and drawn for thy baseness, Wine. Welborne? Did not every man call you Bastard other day? borne? there's no man able to bear thee much: and for breeding, I know none thou hast, unless it be Diseases.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
So, so, here will be some scuffling. You'le leaue your impudence, and learne to know your superiours Beere, or I may chance to haue you stopt vp. what neuer leaue working? I am none of your fellowes. I scorne thou shouldst. I am a companion for Princes, the least droppe of my blood, worth all thy body. I am sent for by the Citizens, visited by the Gallants, kist by the Gentlewomen▪ I am their life, their Genius, the Poeticall furie, the Helicon of the Muses, of better value then Beere; I should be sorry else. Thou art sorie wine indeed sometimes: Value? you are come vp of late, men pay deere for your company, and repent it: that giues you not the precedencie; though Beere set not so great a price vpon himselfe, he meanes not to bate a graine of his worth, nor subscribe to Wine for all his braueries, Not to mee? Not to you: why whence come you pray? From France, from Spaine, from Greece. Thou art a mad Greeke indeed. Where thou must neuer hope to come: who dares denie that I haue beene a trauailer? A trauailer? in a tumbrell, a little Beere will go farther: why Wine, art not thou kept vnder locke and key, confinde to some corner of a Cellar, and there indeed commonly close prisoner, vnlesse the Iaylor or Yeoman of the Bottles turne the Key for the chamber-maid now and then, for which shee vowes not to leaue him, till the last gaspe, where Beere goes abroad, and randeuous in euery place. Thou in euery place? away hop of my thumbe: Beere, I am a sham'd of thee. Be asham'd of thy selfe, and blush Wine thou art no better. Beere shall haue commendations for his mildnesse and vertue, when thou art spit out of mens mouthes, & distasted: thou art an hypocrite, Wine, art all white sometimes, but more changeable then Proteus: thou wouldst take vpon thee to comfort the blood, but hast beene the cause that too many noble veines haue beene emptied: thy vertue is to betray secrets, the very preparatiue to a thousand rapes and murders, and yet thou darest stand vpon thy credit, and preferre thy selfe to Beere, that is as cleare as day. Well said Beere, hee beares vp stiffe like a Constable. Now will I play my part with 'em both. Sir, This is intollerable. The vessell of your wit leakes, Beere, why thou art drunke. So art thou Wine, euery day i'th weeke, and art faine to be carried foorth of doores. How sir? I scorne thy words, thou art base Beere: Wine is well borne, has good breeding, and bringing vp; thou deseruest to be carted, Beere. Suffer this, and suffer all, to him againe. Carted? thou would be carted thy selfe, rackt and drawne for thy basenesse, Wine. Welborne? Did not euery man call you Bastard tother day? borne? ther's no man able to beare thee much: and for breeding, I know none thou hast, vnlesse it bee Diseases.