Wine, Beer, and Ale Together by the Ears (Wine, Beer, Ale, and Tobacco Contending for Superiority) · chunk 6 of 12
Anonymous · published 1630 · first performed or written 1625 [1624-1626(?)] (Annals) dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 501 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Books? printed Cum privilegio no doubt on't, and sold for the Company of Stationers: what are the names? Admire me, but when I name learned, though not the great Alexander Ale and Tostatus the Jesuit. O learned Ale, you scorn to make Indentures any more, but you might as well have concluded this without book. Why, you will shortly be town-clerk, the City Chronicler is too mean a place for you. Now for my strength and invincibility. But here let me interrupt you, talk no more of strength, none but Beer deserves to be called strong, no pen is able to set down my victories. I? why, I have been the destruction.— Of Troy, hast not? here your own mouths condemn you: if killing be your conquest, every Quacksaluing knave may have the credit of a rare Physician, that sends more to the Church and Churchyard, than diseases do: I Wine, comfort & preserve, let that be my Character. I am cosen German to the blood, not so like in my appearance as I am in nature, I repair the debilities of age, and revive the refrigerated spirits, exhilarate the heart, and steel the brow with confidence. For you both the Poet hath drawn you memorial in one.— nil spissus illa Dum bibitur, nil clarius est dum mingitur, vnde Constat quod mult as fences in corpore linquat. Nothing goes in so thick, Nothing comes out so thin: It must needs follow then, Your dregs are left within. And so I leave you Stygiae monstrum conforme paludi, monstrous drink, like the river Styx. Nay but hark, 'tis not your Latin must carry it away, I will not lose a drop of my reputation, and by your favour, if you stand so much upon your preserving, I'll put you to your Latin again, and prove myself superior, for Ale as if it were the life of mankind, hath a peculiar name and denomination, being called Ale from Alo, which every School boy can tell, signifies to feed and nourish, which neither Wine nor Beer can show for themselves; and for my strength and honour in the wars, know that Ale is a Knight of Malta, and dares fight with any man bears a head, 'tis more safe to believe what a Soldier I am, then try what I can do. If you look thus ill-favouredly Ale, you may fright men well enough, and be held terrible by weak stomachs; but if you call to mind the puissance and valour of Beer, invincible Beer, tumble down Beer, you must sing a palinode. I? why I have overthrown armies, how easy is it for me to take a city, when I can tame Constables, which in their presence are formidable at midnight, in the midst of their rugged Billmen, make 'em all resign their weapons, and send 'em away to sleep upon their charge. How? upon their own charge? take the Constable committing that fault, and he'll never be good in his office after it.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Bookes? printed Cum priuilegio no doubt on't, and sold for the Company of Stationers: what are the names? Admire me, but when I name learned, though not the great Alexander Ale and Tostatus the Iesuite. O learned Ale, you scorne to make Indentures any more, but you might as well haue concluded this without booke. Why, you will shortly be Towne-Clerke, the Citie Chronicler is too meane a place for you. Now for my strength and invincibilitie. But heere let mee interrupt you, talke no more of strength, none but Beere deserues to bee call'd strong, no pen is able to set downe my victories. I? why, I haue been the destruction.— Of Troy, hast not? heere your owne mouthes condemne you: if killing be your conquest, euery Quacksaluing knaue may haue the credit of a rare Phisician, that sends more to the Church and Churchyard, then diseases doe: I Wine, comfort & preserue, let that be my Character. I am cosen German to the blood, not so like in my appearance as I am in nature, I repaire the debilities of age, and reuiue the refrigerated spirits, exhilarate the heart, and steele the brow with confidence. For you both the Poet hath drawne you memoriall in one. —nil spissus illa Dum bibitur, nil clarius est dum mingitur, vnde Constat quod mult as foeces in corpore linquat. Nothing goes in so thicke, Nothing comes out so thinne: It must needs follow then, Your dregs are left within. And so I leaue you Stygiae monstrum conforme paludi, monstrous drinke, like the riuer Styx. Nay but hearke, tis not your Latine must carry it away, I will not loose a drop of my repuration, and by your fauour, if you stand so much vpon your preseruing, Ile put you to your Latine agen, and prooue my selfe superiour, for Ale as if it were the life of mankind, hath a peculiar name and denomination, being cald Ale from Alo, which euery Schoole boy can tell, signifies to feed and norish, which neither Wine nor Beere can shew for themselues; and for my strength and honour in the warres, know that Ale is a Knight of Malta, and dares fight with any man beares a head, tis more safe to beleeue what a Souldier I am, then trie what I can doe. If you looke thus ilfauouredly Ale, you may fright men well enough, and be held terrible by weake stomacks; but if you call to mind the puissance and valour of Beere, invincible Beere, tumble downe Beere, you must sing a Pallinode. I? why I haue ouerthrowne armies, how easie is it for me to take a cittie, when I can tame Constables, which in their presence are formidable at midnight, in the middest of their rugged Bill-men, make 'em all resigne their weapons, and send 'em away to sleepe vpon their charge. How? vpon their owne charge? take the Constable committing that fault, and hee'l neuer bee good in his office after it.