Wine, Beer, and Ale Together by the Ears (Wine, Beer, Ale, and Tobacco Contending for Superiority) · chunk 11 of 12
Anonymous · published 1630 · first performed or written 1625 [1624-1626(?)] (Annals) dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 531 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
I pray discourse a little, what's the first? You have named it— 'tis discourse which you are so far from being able to advance that you destroy it, in all men when you are most accepted, when my divine breath mixing with theirs, doth distil eloquence and oracle upon the tongue, which moveth with such deliberation— words flowing in so sweet distinction, that many ears are chained to the lips of him that speaketh. Da pver accensum selecto fictile Poeto, vt Phaebum ore bibam. And yet we are not enchanted with the music of your pipe to dance after it. My most excellent discourser. And a help for the imperfections of nature. For when a man has not wit enough to express himself in words, you being taken, do presently help him,— to spit forth gentleman like. Indeed the most part of our common compliment is but smoke, and now I know how Gentlemen come by it. Thus swine do value pearl— But as you have the eloquence of Ulysses, I suppose you have not the strength of Aiax, we should move in great fear, if you were valiant, I hope you are but weak Tobacco. Weak? whose brain hath not felt the effects of my mightiness? He that opposes me shall find me march like a tempest, waited upon with lightning and black Clouds. Here is no crack. Yet he thunders it out. Yes yes, I remember I have heard him reported a soldier, and once being in company with a knapsack man a companion of his, I obtained a copy of his military postures, which put down the pike and potgun clean, pray observe 'em. 1 Take your seal. 2 Draw your box. 3 Uncase your pipe. 4 Produce your rammer. 5 Blow you pipe. 6 Open your box. 7. Fill your pipe. 8. ram your pipe. 9. Withdraw your Rammer. 10. Return your rammer. 11. Make ready. 12. Present. 13. Elbow your pipe. 14. Mouth your pipe. 15. Give fire. 16. Nose your Tobacco. 17. Puff up your smoke, 18. Spit on your right hand. 19. Throw off your loose ashes. 20. Present to your friend. 21. As you were. 22. Cleanse your pipe. 23. Blow your pipe. 24. Supply your pipe. Exercise this discipline till you stink, defile the room, offend your friends, destroy your liver and lungs, and bid adieu to the world with a scowring flux. You have a good memory.— I'm sure Tobacco will spoil it. These are but childish inventions. They are most proper to illustrate your magnificence, for howsoever you pretend that you converse with men, it is apparent, that you make men children again, for they that use you most familiarly, do but smoke all the day long. You dishonour me. Not somuch as Gentlemen dishonour themselves, to turn common pipers: but if you have any more conditions, pray every us with the story. I am medicinal. How? And preserve the health of man. I hope they are not come to drink healths in Tobacco. I repair the bodies which your immoderate cups have turned to fens and marishes. The wisest Physicians prescribe my use, and acknowledge me a salutary herb.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I pray discourse alitle, what's the first? You haue nam'd it—tis discourse which you are so farre from being able to aduance that you destroy it, in all men when you are most accepted, when my diuine breath mixing with theirs, doth distill eloquence and oracle vpon the tongue, which moueth with such deliberation—words flowing in so sweet distinction, that many eares are chained to the lips of him that speaketh. Da puer accensum selecto fictile Poeto, vt Phaebum ore bibam. And yet wee are not inchanted with the musick of your pipe to dance after it. My most excellent discourser. And a helpe for the imperfections of nature. For when a man ha's not wit enough to expresse himselfe in words, you being taken, do presently helpe him,—to spit forth gentleman like. Indeed the most part of our common complement is but smoke, and now I know how Gentlemen come by it. Thus swine do value pearle— But as you haue the eloquence of Vlysses, I suppose you haue not the strength of Aiax, wee should moue in great feare, if you were valiant, I hope you are but weake Tobacco. Weake? whose braine hath not felt the effects of my mightinesse? He that opposes me shall find me march like a tempest, waited vpon with lightening and black Cloudes. Here is no cracke. Yet he thunders it out. Yes yes, I remember I haue heard him reported a solidier, and once being in company with a knap-Iack man a companion of his, I obtained a coppy of his military postures, which put downe the pike and pot-gun cleane, pray obserue 'em. 1 Take your seale. 2 Draw your box. 3 Vncase your pipe. 4 Produce your rammer. 5 Blow you pipe. 6 Open your box. 7. Fill your pipe. 8. Ramme your pipe. 9. Withdraw your Rammer. 10. Returne your rammer. 11. Make ready. 12. Present. 13. Elbow your pipe. 14. Mouth your pipe. 15. Giue fire. 16. Nose your Tobacco. 17. Puffe vp your smoake, 18. Spit on your right hand. 19. Throw off your loose ashes. 20. Present to your friend. 21. As you were. 22. Cleanse your pipe. 23. Blow your pipe. 24. Supply your pipe. Exercise this discipline till you stinke, defile the roome, offend your friends, destroy your liuer and lungs, and bid adiew to the world with a scowring fluxe. You haue a good memorie.— I'me sure Tobacco will spoyle it. These are but childish inuentions. They are most proper to illustrate your magnificence, for howsoeuer you pretend that you conuerse with men, it is apparant, that you make men children agen, for they that vse you most familiarly, doe but smoake all the day long. You dishonour me. Not somuch as Gentlemen dishonour themselues, to turne common pipers: but if you haue any more conditions, pray enrich vs with the story. I am medicinall. How? And preserue the health of man. I hope they are not come to drinke healthes in Tobacco. I repaire the bodies which your immoderate cups haue turnd to fennes and marishes. The wisest Phisitians prescribe my vse, and acknowledge me a salutary herbe.