Wine, Beer, and Ale Together by the Ears (Wine, Beer, Ale, and Tobacco Contending for Superiority) · chunk 12 of 12
Anonymous · published 1630 · first performed or written 1625 [1624-1626(?)] (Annals) dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 523 words · other edition — not in the analysis
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
physicians are no fools, they may commend you for their profit, you are one of their harbingers to provide for a disease; yet howsoever you call them wise, and glory in their flatteries, they make but a very simple of you. Methinks this should cut Tobacco. Not at all, I am above their poor derision; at my pleasure I could revenge their malice, for I am in favour, and grown to be the delight of poets and princes. How poets and princes? Ego & Rex meus, a stopper for Tobacco, we shall have pretty treason anon else. Does it scruple your judgement Mr. small beer that I say poets and Princes? I am not to learn their distinction, nor doth it take from any allegiance, they are both sacred names: yet I am confident it is easier for a poet not borne to sovereignty to aspire to a kingdom, then for a King not borne with fancy to be made a poet. I mentioned these names, not in their method and order, but to show my grace with them, that are most able to punish insolence, such as yours, How the vapour rises. This ruffler may be troublesome, we were best admit him to our society, he is a dry companion, and you may observe, how he hath insinuated already with the greatest; the ladies begin to affect him, and he receives private favours from their lips, every day he kisseth their hands, when he appears in a fair pipe; though we allow him not a priority, for our own sakes, let us hold correspondence with him, lest he seduce men to forsake us, or at least to make use of us but for their necessity. Hum. he says well, now I better consider 'twere safest to use him kindly, lest by degrees he overthrow us, and iett upon our privileges, for I heard a gentleman tother day affirm, he had fasted 3 or 4 days, only with Tobacco. Beside, if we continue friends he will be a preparative for our reception, without us he may subsist, but with him we are sure of liberal entertainment. I am converted, Wine you are the best orator, speak for us. Tobacco, you are a good fellow, all ambition laid aside, let us embrace as friends; excuse us, that we have been a little merry with you, we acknowledge you a gentle drink and you shall have all the respect will become Wine, Beer, or Ale to observe you with: what should we contend for primacy, quarrel about titles, which if to any we acknowledge most properly belong to you, for they are all but smoke. Let us unite and be confederate states for the benefit of men's low countries, live and love together. Wine doth here enter into league with Tobacco. And beer. And Ale. Are you in earnest? why then Tobacco is so far from pride, that he vows to serve you all, and when I leave to be a true friend, may fire consume me, and my ashes want a burial. W. B. A. and when we falsify, may thunder's shriek us dead.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Phisitians are no fooles, they may commend you for their profit, you are one of their herbingers to prouide for a disease; yet howsoeuer you call them wise, and glorie in their flatteries, they make but a very simple of you. Methinkes this should cut Tobacco. Not at all, I am aboue their poore derision; at my pleasure I could reuenge their malice, for I am in fauour, and growne to be the delight of poets and princes. How poets and princes? Ego & Rex meus, a stopper for Tobacco, wee shall haue pretty treason anon else. Does it scruple your iudgement Mr. small beere that I say poets and Princes? I am not to learne their distinction, nor doth it take from any allegiance, they are both sacred names: yet I am confident it is easier for a poet not borne to soueraigntie to aspire to a kingdome, then for a King not borne with fancie to be made a poet. I mentiond these names, not in their methode aud order, but to shew my grace with them, that are most able to punish insolence, such as your's, How the vapour rises. This ruffler may be troublesome, wee were best admit him to our society, he is a dry companion, and you may obserue, how he hath insinuated already with the greatest; the ladies begin to affect him, and he receiues priuate fauors from their lips, euery day he kisseth their hands, when he appeares in a faire pipe; though wee allow him not a prioritie, for our owne sakes, let vs hold correspondence with him, least he seduce men to forsake vs, or at least to make vse of vs but for their necessity. Hum! he sayes well, now I better consider 'twere safest to vse him kindly, least by degrees he ouerthrow vs, and iett vpon our priuiledges, for I heard a geutleman t'other day affirme, he had fasted 3 or 4 dayes, only with Tobacco. Beside, if we continue friends he will be a preparatiue for our reception, without vs he may subsist, but with him wee are sure of liberall entertainement. I am conuerted, Wine you are the best orator, speake for vs. Tobacco, you are a good fellow, all ambition laid aside, let vs embrace as friends; excuse vs, that wee haue been a little merry with you, wee acknowledge you a gentle drink and you shall haue all the respect will become Wine, Beere, or Ale to obserue you with: what should we contend for primacie, quarrell about titles, which if to any wee acknowledge most properly belong to you, for they are all but smoake. Let vs vnite and be confederate states for the benefit of mens low countreyes, liue and loue together. Wine doth here enter into league with Tobacco. And beere. And Ale. Are you in earnest? why then Tobacco is so farre from pride, that he vowes to serue you all, and when I leaue to be a true friend, may fire consume me, and my ashes want a buriall. W. B. A. and when wee falsifie, may thunders shrike vs dead.