Aristippus, or The Jovial Philosopher · chunk 3 of 18
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1626 [1625-1626] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment T35 Fools, wit and railing typicality 0.74 · 452 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
This boy would have put a fallacy upon me, in Interrogatione plurium. This boy is a mere Animal; ha, ha, he. He has not a jot of Language in him more than Anon, anon, Sir. O Giggleswicke, thou happy place of education! This poor wretch knows not what a Philosopher means. To see the simpleness of these people; They do ever thing {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman}, and have not a jot, not an inch of {non-Roman} {non-Roman} {non-Roman} in them. O what had become of me, if I had not gone barefoot to my Praeceptor, with a Satchel at my back? Slaves are they that heap up mountains, Still desiring more and more, Still let's carouse in Bacchus' fountains, Never dreaming to be poor, Give us then a Cup of liquour, Fill it up unto the brim, For then methinks my wits grow quicker, When my brains in liquour swim. Ha brave Arstippus. Pox of Aristotle and Plato, and a company of dry Rascals: But heigh brave Aristippus. Certainly, there are Aristippus his Scholars: Sir, pray can you resolve me what is Gradus compossibilitatis? What ails thou, thou musing man? Diddle diddle do. Quench thy sorrows in a Can, Diddle diddle do. Compossibilitas? Why, that's nothing man, when you ne'er drink beyond your poculum necessitatis, you are in gradu incompossibili to all good fellowship: Come, hang Scotus, we'll lead you to Aristippus, one Epitome of his in quarto, is worth a volume of these Dunces. O Gentlemen, you will bind me to thank you in Poculo Gratiarum. But what Philosophy doth he read, and what hours doth he keep? None at all precisely, but indistinctly all: Night and day he pours forth his instructions, and fills you out of measure. he'll make the eyes of your understanding see double, and teach you to speak fluently, and utter your mind in abundance. Hath he many Scholars, Sir? More than all the Philosophers in the Town beside. He never rests but is still called for. Aristippus says one, Aristippus says another: He is generally asked for, yea, and by Doctors sometimes. And as merry a man: There can be no Feast, but he is sent for, and all the company are the merrier for him. Did you but once hear him, you would so love his company, you would never after endure to stand alone. O pray help me to the sight of him. we will, brave boy: and when you have seen him, you'll think yourself in another world, and scorn to be your own man any longer. But I pray you at what price reads he? Why truly his price hath been raised of late, and his very name makes him the dearer.
nodes 91–119 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 3 of 18 in this edition
Length
452 words · 658 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T35 — Fools, wit and railingcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.739 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T58 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
This boy would haue put a fallacy vpon mee, in Interrogatione plurium. This boy is a meere Animal; ha, ha, he. He has not a jot of Language in him more then Anon, anon, Sir. O Giggleswicke, thou happy place of education! This poore wretch knowes not what a Philosopher meanes. To see the simplenesse of these people; They doe euer thing , and haue not a jot, not an inch of in them. O what had become of mee, if I had not gone bare-foot to my Praeceptor, with a Satchell at my backe? Slaues are they that heape vp mountaines, Still desiring more and more, Still let's carouse in Bacchus fountaines, Neuer dreaming to be poore, Giue vs then a Cup of liquor, Fill it vp vnto the brim, For then me thinkes my wits grow quicker, When my braines in liquor swim. Ha braue Arstippus. Poxe of Aristotle and Plato, and a company of drie Raskalls: But hey braue Aristippus. Certainly, there are Aristippus his Scholiers: Sir, pray can you resolue me what is Gradus compossibilitatis? What ailes thou, thou musing man? Diddle diddle dooe. Quench thy sorrowes in a Canne, Diddle diddle dooe. Compossibilitas? Why, that's nothing man, when you ne'r drinke beyond your poculum necessitatis, you are in gradu incompossibili to all good fellowship: Come, hang Scotus, wee'll lead you to Aristippus, one Epitome of his in quarto, is worth a volume of these Dunces. O Gentlemen, you will binde mee to thanke you in Poculo Gratiarum. But what Philosophy doth hee read, and what houres doth he keepe? None at all precisely, but indistinctly all: Night and day he powres forth his instructions, and fils you out of measure. Hee'll make the eyes of your vnderstanding see double, and teach you to speake fluently, and vtter your minde in abundance. Hath he many Schollers, Sir? More than all the Philosophers in the Towne besides. He neuer rests but is still cald for. Aristippus sayes one, Aristippus sayes another: He is generally ask'd for, yea, and by Doctors sometimes. And as merry a man: There can be no Feast, but hee is sent for, and all the company are the merrier for him. Did you but once heare him, you would so loue his company, you would neuer after endure to stand alone. O pray helpe me to the sight of him. Wee will, braue boy: and when you haue seene him, youle thinke your selfe in another world, and scorne to bee your owne man any longer. But I pray you at what price reads he? Why truely his price hath been raised of late, and his very name makes him the dearer.