Aristippus, or The Jovial Philosopher · chunk 4 of 18
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1626 [1625-1626] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 493 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
A diligent Lecturer deserves eight pence a Pint tuition: Nay, if you will learn any thing, Scholarships must be paid for. Academical Simony is lawful: Nay did you ever hear of a good Preacher in a fat Benefice, unless his purse were the leaner for it? Make much of him, for we shall have no more such in haste. But who is this? The University Ramist, a Malt Heretic; alias the Wild man that is grown mad to see the daily resort to Aristippus: but let us leave him to his frenzy. But come you Lads that love Canary, Let us have a mad fegary: Hither, hither, hither, hither, All good Fellows flock together. Brains, wits, senses, all sly hence: let fools live limed in Cages: I am the Wild-man, and I will be wild: is this an age to be in a man's right wits, when the lawful use of the throat is so much neglected, and strong drink lies sick on his deathbed? 'Tis above the patience of a Malt-horse, to see the contempt of Barley, and not run mad upon't. This is Aristippus, Aristippus, now a Devil or two take his rednosed Philosophy: 'Tis he, my beer, that has vowed thee to the Vinegar-bottle; but I'll be revenged: when next I meet him, I'll twist and twitch his bush-beard from his Tavern face: 'Tis not his hypathie happithi can carry him out. Let him look to be soundlier dashed by me, than ever he was by Drawer for his impudence. I'll teach my Spanish Don a French trick, I'll either plague him with a Pox, or have some Claret whore burn him for an heretic, and make him challenge acquaintance of mulled-sack: If he was not either sent hither from the Britch Politique, or be not employed by Spinola to seduce the Kings lawful Subjects from their allegiance to strong Beer, let me hold up my hand at the bar, and be hanged at my Signpost, if he had not a hand in the Powder-treason! Well, I say nothing, but he has blown up good store of men in his days, house and land and all. If they take no order with him here in the University, the poor Country were as good have the man in the Moon for their Pastor, as a Scholar. They are all so infected with Aristippus his Arminianism, they can preach no Doctrine but Sack and red Noses. As for the Wild-man, they have made him horn-mad already. Heighday, there goes the Hunts-up: this is the Mandrake's voice that undoes me: you may hear him in faith. This is the Devil of his that goes up and down like a roaring-Sheeps-head to gather his Pewter Library. I'll fit him i'faith. Now you Calves-skin impudence, I'll thresh your jacket. What a coil's here? what fellow's that? he looks like a mad hogshead of March-beer that had run out, and threatened a deluge: what is he?
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
A diligent Lecturer deserues eight pence a Pinte tuition: Nay, if you will learne any thing, Schollerships must be paid for. Academicall Simonie is lawfull: Nay did you euer heare of a good Preacher in a fat Benefice, vnlesse his purse were the leaner for it? Make much of him, for wee shall haue no more such in haste. But who is this? The Vniuersity Ramist, a Mault Heretique; alias the Wilde man that is grown mad to see the daily resort to Aristippus: but let vs leaue him to his frenzi. But come you Lads that loue Canary, Let vs haue a mad fegarie: Hether, hether, hether, hether, All good Fellowes flocke together. Braines, wits, senses, all slie hence: let fooles liue limed in Cages: I am the Wilde-man, and I will be wilde: is this an age to be in a mans right wits, when the lawfull vse of the throat is so much neglected, and strong drinke lies sicke on his death-bed? 'Tis aboue the patience of a Malt-horse, to see the contempt of Barly, and not run mad vpon't. This is Aristippus, Aristippus, now a Diuell or two take his rednos'd Philosophy: 'Tis he, my beere, that has vowed thee to the Vinegar-bottle; but I'll be reuenged: when next I meet him, I'll twist and twitch his bush-beard from his Tauerne face: 'Tis not his hypathie happithi can carry him out. Let him looke to bee sounder dash'd by mee, then euer hee was by Drwer for his impudence. I'll teach my Spanish Don a French tricke, I'll either plague him with a Poxe, or haue some Claret whore burne him for an heretique, and make him challenge acquaintance of Mld-Sack: If he was not either sent hither from the Britch Politique, or be not imployed by Spinola to seduce the Kings lawfull Subiects from their allegiance to strong Beere, let me hold vp my hand at the barre, and be hanged at my Signe-post, if hee had not a hand in the Powder-treason! Well, I say nothing, but hee has blowne vp good store of men in his dayes, house and land and all. If they take no order with him here in the Vniuersity, the poore Coūtry were as good haue the man in the Moone for their Pastor, as a Scholler. They are all so infected with Aristippus his Arminianisme, they can preach no Doctrine but Sacke and red Noses. As for the Wilde-man, they haue made him horne-mad already. Heighday, there goes the Hunts-vp: this is the Mandrakes voyce that vndoe's me: you may heare him in faith. This is the Deuill of his that goes vp and downe like a roaring-Sheeps-head to gather his Pewter Librarie. I'll fit him I faith. Now you Calues-skin impudence, I'll thresh your Iacket. What a coyl's heere? what fellowe's that? hee lookes like a mad hogs-head of March-beere that had run out, and threatned a deluge: what is hee?