Aristippus, or The Jovial Philosopher · chunk 8 of 18
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1626 [1625-1626] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 515 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
You interrupt him Sir, too much in his Lecture, and prevent your ears of their happiness. Oh heavens, I could hear him, ad aeternitatem, and that tàm à parte ante quàm à parte post. O proceed, proceed, thy instructions are mere. orthodoxal, thy Philosophy canonical, I will study thy scientiam both speculativam & practicam. Pray let me once more forswear the pollution of Beer, for it is an abominable heretic, I'll be his perfect enemy, till I make him and bottle-Ale fly the Country. But Sack is the life, soul, and spirits of a man, the fire which Prometheus stole, not from Ioues Kitchen, but his wine-cellar, to increase the native heat and radical moisture, without which, we are but drowsy dust, or dead clay: this is Nectar, the very Nepenthe the gods were drunk with, 'tis this that gave Ganymede, beauty, Hebe youth, to Ioue his heaven and eternity; do you think Aristotle drank Perry, or Plato cider? do you think Alexander had ever conquered the world, if he had been sober? he knew the force & valour of Sack, that it was the best armour, the best encouragement, and that none could be a good Commander, that was not double drunk, with Wine and Ambition. Only here's the difference: Ambition makes them rise, and Wine makes them fall. Therefore the Garrisons are all drinking Schools, the Soldiers trained up to the mustering of pewter pots daily, learning to contemn death, by accustoming to be dead-drunk: scars do not so well become a Captain, as Carbuncles. A red nose is the grace of a Sergeant Maior, and they unworthy the place of Ancients that have not good colours, the best shot to be discharged is the Tavern bill, the best Alarum is the sounding of healths, and the most absolute March is reeling. And the best Artillery yard is the Dolphin. Thus you may easily perceive the profit of Sack in military discipline, for that it may justly seem to have taken the name of Sack from sacking of Cities. Oh wonderful, wonderful Philosophy If I be a coward any longer, let me swear a little to drink Sack, for I will be as valiant as any of the Knights Errant: I perceive it was only culpa ignorantiae, not pravae dispositionis that made me a coward: but O Enthusiastic, rare, Angelical Philosophy, I will be a Soldier, a Scholar, and every thing, I will hereafter nec peccare in materid, nec informed. Beer, rascally Beer was the first parent of Sophisters, and the fallacies: But proceed, my Pythagoras, my ipse dixit of Philosophy. Next, it is the only elixir of Philosophy, the very philosopher's stone, able, if studied by a young Heir, mutare rerum specus, to change his House, Lands, Livings, Tenements, and Liveries into aurum potabile: So that though his Lordships be the fewer for't, his manners shall be the more; whose Lands being dissolved into Sack, must needs make his soul more capable of divine meditation, he being almost in the state of separation, by being purged, and freed from so much earth.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
You interrupt him Sir, too much in his Lecture, and preuent your eares of their hoppinesse. Oh heauens, I could heare him, ad ternitatem, and that àm à parte ante quàm à parte post. O proceed, proceed, thy instructions are meere. Orthodoxall, thy Philosophy canonicall, I will study thy scieutiam both speculatiuam & practicam. Pray let me once more forsweare the pollution of Beere, for it is an abominable heretique, I'll be his perfect enemy, till I make him and bottle-Ale flie the Country. But Sacke is the life, soule, and spirits of a man, the fire which Prometheus stole, not from Ioues Kitchin, but his Wine-Cellour, to increase the natiue heat and radicall moysture, without which, we are but drousie dust, or dead clay: this is Nectar, the very Nepenthe the gods were drunk with, 'tis this that gaue Ganymede, beauty, Hebe youth, to Ioue his heauen and eternity; doe you thinke Aristotle dranke Perry, or Plato Cyder? doe you thinke Alexander had euer conquerd the world, if he had bin sober? he knew the force & valour of Sacke, that it was the best armour, the best encouragement, and that none could be a good Commander, that was not double drunke, with Wine and Ambition. Onely heer's the difference: Ambition makes them rise, and Wine makes them fall. Therefore the Garrisons are all drinking Scholes, the Souldiers trained vp to the mustering of pewter pots daily, learning to cotemne death, by accustoming to be deaddrunke: scarres doe not so well become a Captaine, as Carbuncles. A red nose is the grace of a Serieant Maior, and they vnworthy the place of Ancients that haue not good colours, the best shot to be discharg'd is the Tauerne bill, the best Alarum is the sounding of healths, and the most absolute March is reeling. And the best Artillery yard is the Dolphin. Thus you may easily perceiue the profit of Sack in military discipline, for that it may iustly seem to haue taken the name of Sacke from sacking of Cities. Oh wonderfull, wonderfull Philosophie If I bee a coward any longer, let me sweare a little to drink Sack, for I will be as valiant as any of the Knights Errant: I perceiue it was onely culpa ignorantiae, not praae dispositions that made me a coward: but O Enthusiastique, rare, Angelicall Philosophie, I will be a Souldier, a Scholler, and euery thing, I will hereafter nec peccare in matrid, nec informd. Beere, raskally Beere was the first parent of Sophisters, and the fallacies: But proceed, my Pythagoras, my ipse dixit of Philosophy. Next, it is the only Elixar of Philosophie, the very Philosophers stone, able, if studied by a yong Heire, mudrererum specus, to change his House, Lands, Liuings, Tencents, and Liueries into aurum potabile: So that though his Lordships be the fwer for't, his manners shal be the more; whose Lnds being dissolued into Sack, must needs make his soule more capable of diuine meditation, he being almost in the state of separation, by being purg'd, and freed from so much earth.