Aristippus, or The Jovial Philosopher · chunk 13 of 18
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1626 [1625-1626] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment T35 Fools, wit and railing typicality 0.76 · 511 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
O God Sir, when I was in the state of ignorance, I conned it without book, thinking it had been a Position. Aristippus is better in every letter, Then Faber the Parisiensis, Than Scotus, Soncinas, and Thomas Aquinas, Or Gregory Gandanensis: Then Cardan and Ramus, then old Paludanus, Albertus and Gabriella, Than Pico Mercatus, or Scaliger Natus, Than Niphus or Zabarella. Hortado, Trombetus, were fools with Toletus, Zanardus, and Will de Hales, With Occham, Janellus, and mad Algazellus, Philoponus and Natalis, The Conciliator, was but a mere prater, And so was Apollinaris: jandunus, Plotinus, the Dunce Eugubinus, With Masius, Savil, and Swarez, Fonseca, Durandus, Becanus, Holandus, Pererius, Auienture: Old Trismigistus, whose volumes have missed us, Ammonius, Bonaventure, Mirandula Comes, with Proclus and Somes, And Guido the Carmelita: The nominal Schools, and the College of fools, No longer is my delight-a: Hang Brirewood and Carter, in Crakenthorp's garter, Let Keckerman too bemoan us, I'll be no more beaten, for greasy lack Seaton, Or cunning of Sandersonus. The censure of Cato's, shall never amate us, Their frosty beards cannot nip us: Your Ale is too muddy, good Sack is our study, Our Tutor is Aristippus. There they be, now for the valour of Brewers, knock 'em soundly, the old Rogue, that's he, do you not see him there? soundly, soundly, let him know what Champions good Beer has. Now let them know that Beer is too strong for them, and let me be hanged, if ever I be milder to such Rascals, they shall find these but stale courtesies, How now? what's here? the learned Library, the Philosophical volumes: these are the books of the black-Art; I hate them worse than Bellarmine, the golden Legend, or the Turkish Alcharon. I wonder what virtue is in this powder-faced Author, that it should make every one fall into love with it so deeply: I'll try if I can find any Philirus, any love-potion in 't: by my Domine not a drop; O stultum ingenium hominum, to delight in such vanities! Sure these are Comments upon Tobacco, dry and juiceless vanities. I'll try again, by my bonafide, but this doth relish some learning, still better, an admirable witty rogue, a very flash. I'll turn another leaf, still better, has he any more Authors like this? what's here, Aristippus? a most incomparable Author, O Bodily, Bodily, thou hast not such a book in all thy Library, here's one line worth the whole Vatican. O Aristippus, would my brains had been broken out when I broached thy hogshead: O cursed Brewers, and most accursed am I, to wrong so learned a Philosopher as Aristippus? what penance is enough to clear me from this impardonable offence? twenty purgations are too little; I'll suck up all my Beer in Toasts to appease him, and afterwards live by my Wife and Hackneys. Oh, that I had never undertook this selling of Beer, I might have kept my house with fellow's Commons, and never have come to this: But now I am a Wild-man, and my house a Bedlam: Aristippus, Aristippus, Aristippus.
nodes 286–320 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 13 of 18 in this edition
Length
511 words · 830 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T35 — Fools, wit and railingcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.765 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T58 · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
O God Sir, when I was in the state of ignorance, I co'd it without booke, thinking it had been a Position. Aristippus is better in euery letter, Then Fabr the Parisiensis, Then Scotus, Soncinas, and Thomas Aquias, Or Gregory Gandanensis: Then Cardan and amus, then old Paludanus, Albertus and Gabriella, Then Pico Mercatus, or Scaliger Natus, Then Niphus or Zabarella. Hortado, Trombetus, were fooles with Toletus, Zanardus, and Will de Hales, With Occham, Iaellus, and mad Algazellus, Philoponus and Natali, The Conciliator, was but a meere prater, And so was Apollinaris: Iandunus, Plotinus, the Dunc Eugubinus, With Masius, Sauil, and Swarez, Fonseca, Durandus, Becanus, Holandus, Pererius, Auienture: Old Trismigistus, whose volumes haue mist vs, Ammonius, Bonauenture, Mirandula Comes, with Proclus and Soes, And Guido the Carmelita: The nominall Schooles, and the Colledge of fooles, No longer is my delighta: Hang Brirewood and Carter, in Crakenthorps garter, Lt Keckerman too beoane vs, I'll be no more beaten, for greasie lacke Seato, Or conning of Sandersonus. The censure of Cato's, shall neuer amate vs, Their frosty beards cannot nip vs: Your Ale is too muddy, good Sacke is our study, Our Tutor is Aristippus. There they be, now for the valour of Brewers, knocke um soundly, the old Rogue, that's hee, doe you not see him there? soundly, soundly, let him know what Champions good Beere has. Now let them know that Beere is too strong for them, and let me be hang'd, if euer I be milder to such Rascals, they shall find these but stle courtesies, How now? what's her? the learned Library, the Philosophicall volumes: these are the bookes of the black-Art; I hate them worse than Bellarmine, the golden Legend, or the Turkish Alcharon. I wonder what vertue is in this pwer-faced Authour, that it should make euery one fall into loue with it so deeply: I'l trie if I can find any Philiru, any loue-potion in 't: by my Domine not a drop; O stultum ingeniur hominum, to delight in such vanitie! Sure these are Comments vpon Tobacco, drie and jicelesse vanities. I'll trie againe, by my bonafide, but this doth relish some learning, still better, an admirable witty rogue, a very flash. I'l turne another leafe, still better, has he any more Authors like this? what's here, Aristippus? a most incomparable Authour, O Bodly, Bodly, thou hast not such a booke in all thy Library, heer's one line worth the whole Vatican. O Aristippus, would my braines had beene broken out when I broched thy hogs-head: O curst Brewers, and most accursed am I, to wrong so learned a Philosopher as Aristippu? what penance is enough to cleare me from this impardonable offence? twenty purgations are too little; I'll suck vp all my Beere in Toasts to appease him, and afterwards liue by my Wife and Hackneyes. Oh, that I had neuer vndertooke this selling of Beere, I might haue kept my house with Fellowes Commons, and neuer haue come to this: But now I am a Wild-man, and my house a Bedlam: Aristippus, Aristippus, Aristippus.