Aristippus, or The Jovial Philosopher · chunk 15 of 18
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1626 [1625-1626] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment T3 Sickness, physic and doctors typicality 0.67 · 464 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T3: doctor, master, cure, disease, pray, physic, physician, mr, sick, lady.
What of the Thumb? I have not heard of it as yet Sir. Why the Thumb, the Thumb, do you not know the cure of the Thumb? No Sir, but I pray tell the cure of the Thumb, do you still remember't Sir. Remembered? ay, and perfectly, I have it at my finger's end, and thus it is. Two Gentlemen were fighting, one lost his Thumb, I by chance coming by, took it up, put it in my pocket, some two months after, meeting the Gentleman, I set on his Thumb again; and if he were now in Cambridge, I could have his hand to show for't: why did you ne'er hear of the Thumb Sir? 'tis strange you never heard me speak of the Thumb Sir. Signior de Medico Campo, if you have any art or skill, show it now, you never had a more deserving Patient. Yet I have had many, and royal ones too; I have done Cures beyond Seas, that will not be believed in England. Very likely so, and Cures in England, that will not be believed beyond seas, nor here neither, for in this kind, half the world are infidels. The great Turk can witness, I am sure, the eyes that he wears, are of my making. He was then an eyewitness: but I hope he wears spectacles, Signior. Why, won't you believe it? why I tell you I am able to say't, I saw't, I saw't myself, I cured the King of Poland of a Wart on's nose, and Bethlem Gaber of a Ringworm. The one with raw Beef, and the other with Inkhorns. Pox of your old Wives medicines; the worst of mine Ingredients is an unicorn's Horn, and a bezoar's stone: Raw Beef and Inkhorns! Why, I cured Shirley in the Grand Sophy's Court in Persia, when he had been twice shot through with Ordinance, and had two bullets in each thigh, and so quickly, that he was able at night to lie with his wife the Sophy's niece, and beget a whole Church of Christians; and could this have been done with Raw Beef and Inkhorns? No sure, this could not have been done without Eggs and Greensauce, or an Oatmeal Poultice at least. The King of Russia had died of the worms, but for a powder I sent him. Some of that you mean, that stuck on the bullet which you took out of Shirley's legs. In the siege of Ostend, I gave the Duchess of Austria a receipt to keep her Smock from being animated, when she had not shifted it of a twelvemonth. Believe me, and that was a Cure beyond Scoggins Fleas. I am able by the virtue of one Salve, to heal all the wounds and breaches in Bohemia.
nodes 341–358 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 15 of 18 in this edition
Length
464 words · 608 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T3 — Sickness, physic and doctorscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.670 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T3 · seed 44: T4 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
What of the Thumbe? I haue not heard of it as yet Sir. Why the Thumbe, the Thumbe, doe you not know the cure of the Thumbe? No Sir, but I pray tell the cure of the Thumbe, doe you still remember't Sir. Remember't? I, and perfectly, I haue it at my fingers end, and thus it is. Two Gentlemen were fighting, one lost his Thumbe, I bychance comming by, tooke it vp, put it in my pocket, some two moneths after, meeting the Gentleman, I set on his Thumbe againe; and if he were now in Cambridge, I could haue his hand to shew for't: why did you ne'r heare of the Thumbe Sir? 'tis strange you neuer heard mee speake of the Thumbe Sir. Signior de Medico Campo, if you haue any art or skill, shew it now, you neuer had a more deseruing Patient. Yet I haue had many, and royall ones too; I haue done Cures beyond Seas, that will not be beleeued in England. Very likely so, and Cures in England, that will not be beleeued beyond seas, nor here neither, for in this kinde, halfe the world are infidels. The great Turke can witnesse, I am sure, the eyes that he weares, are of my making. Hee was then an eye-witnesse: but I hope hee weares spectacles, Signior. Why, won't you beleeue it? why I tell you I am able to say't, I saw't, I saw't my selfe, I cur'd the King of Poland of a Wart on's nose, and Bethlem Gaber of a Ringworme. The one with raw Beefe, and the other with Inkehornes. Poxe of your old Wies medicines; the worst of mine Ingredients is an Vnicornes Horne, and a Bezars stone: Raw Beefe and Inkehornes! Why, I cur'd Sherley in the Grand Sophies Court in Persia, when he had bin twice shot through with Ordinance, and had two bullets in each thigh, and so quickly, that he was able at night to lie with his wife the Sophies neece, and beget a whole Church of Christians; and could this haue beene done with Raw Beefe and Inkehornes? No sure, this could not haue beene done without Egges and Greene-sauce, or an Oatmeale Poultice at least. The King of Russia had dyed of the wormes, but for a powder I sent him. Some of that you meane, that stucke on the bullet which you tooke out of Sherleyes legges. In the siege of Ostend, I gaue the Dutchesse of Austria a receipt to keepe her Smocke from being animated, when shee had not shifted it of a tweluemoneth. Beleeue mee, and that was a Cure beyond Scoggins Fleas. I am able by the vertue of one Salue, to heale all the wounds and breaches in Bohemia.