Aristippus, or The Jovial Philosopher · chunk 16 of 18
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1626 [1625-1626] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment T3 Sickness, physic and doctors typicality 0.72 · 456 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T3: doctor, master, cure, disease, pray, physic, physician, mr, sick, lady.
ay, and close up the Bunghole in the great Tub at Heidelberg, I warrant you. I cured the state of Venice of a Dropsy, the Low-Countries of a Lethargy, and if it had not been treason, I had cured the Fistula, that it should have dropped no more than your nose. By one Dram on a knife's point, I restored Mansfield to his full strength and forces, when he had no men left, but was only skin and bones. I made an Arm for Brunswick, with so great art and skill, as nature herself could not have mended it; which had it not come too late, and after his death, would have done him as much service as that which was shot off. I easily believe that i'faith. I could make a Purgation, that should so scour the Seas, that never a Dunkirk durst show his head. By my faith, and that would be a good State Glister. I have done as great wonders as these, when I extracted as much chastity from a Sanctimony in the English Nunnery, as cured the Pope of his lechery. And yet had as much left, as served five Cardinals on fasting-days. And there was no man in the Realm of France, either French or Spanish or Italian Doctors, but myself, that durst undertake the King of France his Corns, and afterwards having cured him, I drank a health to him. Would we had the pledging on't. O happy man that hast conferred a note with the King of France! And do you seem to misdoubt my skill, and speak of my Art with ifs and ands? Do you take me for a Mountebank? and hath mine own tongue been so silent in my praise, that you have not heard of my skill? No, pardon us Signior, only the danger our Tutor is in, makes us so suspicious; we know your skill Sir, we have heard Spain and your own tongue speak loud on't, we know beside, that you are a Traveller, and therefore give you leave to relate your words with authority. Danger? what danger can there be, when I am his Surgeon? His head Sir is so wondrously bruised, 'tis almost past cure. Why, what if he had never an head? am not I able to make him one? or if it were beaten to atoms, I could set it together, as perfectly as in the womb. Believe me neighbour, but that would be as great a wonder, as the Thumb, or Prester John's head. Why? I'll tell you Sir, what I did, a far greater wonder than any of these, I was a Traveller. There is no such great wonder in that, but what may be believed.
nodes 359–375 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 16 of 18 in this edition
Length
456 words · 579 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T3 — Sickness, physic and doctorscross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.716 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T3 · seed 44: T4 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I, and cloze vp the Bung-hole in the great Tub at Heidlebergh, I warrant you. I cur'd the state of Venice of a Dropsie, the Low-Countries of a Lethargie, and if it had not been treason, I had cur'd the Fistula, that it shuld haue dropt no more then your nose. By one Dramme on a knifes point, I restored Mansfield to his full strength and forces, when he had no men left, but was onely skin and bones. I made an Arme for Brunswicke, with so great art and skill, as nature her selfe could not haue mended it; which had it not come too late, and after his death, would haue done him as much seruice as that which was shot off. I easily beleeue that I faith. I could make a Purgation, that should so scoure the Seas, that neuer a Dunkerke durst shew his head. By my faith, and that would bee a good State Glister. I haue done as great wonders as these, when I extracted as much chastity from a Sanctimony in the English Nunnery, as cur'd the Pope of his lechery. And yet had as much left, as seru'd fiue Cardinals on Fasting-dayes. And there was no man in the Realme of France, either French or Spanish or Italian Doctors, but my selfe, that durst vndertake the King of France his Cornes, and afterwards hauing cur'd him, I dranke a health to him. Would we had the pledging on't. O happy man that hast conferred a note with the King of France! And doe you seeme to misdoubt my skill, and speake of my Art with ifs and ands? Doe you take mee for a Mountebank? and hath mine owne tongue beene so silent in my praise, that you haue not heard of my skill? No, pardon vs Signior, onely the danger our Tutor is in, makes vs so suspitious; we know your skill Sir, we haue heard Spaine and your owne tongue speake loud on't, we know besides, that you are a Trauailer, and therefore giue you leaue to relate your words with authority. Danger? what danger can there be, when I am his Surgeon? His head Sir is so wondrously bruised, 'tis almost past cure. Why, what if he had neuer an head? am not I able to make him one? or if it were beaten to atomes, I could set it together, as perfectly as in the wombe. Beleeue me neighbour, but that would be as great a wonder, as the Thumbe, or Prester Iohns head. Why? I'll tell you Sir, what I did, a farre greater wonder then any of these, I was a Trauailer. There is no such great wonder in that, but what may be beleeued.