The Conceited Pedlar (The University Pedlar) · chunk 2 of 8
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1627 [Nov 1] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment unassigned nearest T6 Money, debt and credit · 456 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T6: money, master, pound, law, lawyer, chain, gentleman, gold, pay, pray.
But what is a Pedlar? why, what's that to you? yet for the satisfaction of him whom I most respect, my right honourable self, I will define him. A Pedlar is an Indiusduum vagum, or the Primum mobile of Tradesmen, a walking Burse, or movable Exchange, a Socratical Citizen of the vast universe, or a peripatetical journeyman, that like another Atlas carries his heavenly shop on's Shoulders. I am a Pedlar, and I sell my ware This brave Saint Barthol. or Sturbridge fair, I'll sell all for laughter, that's all my gains, Such Chapman should be laughed at for their pains. Come buy my wits which I have hither brought, For wit is never good till it be bought; Let me not bear all back, buy some the while, If laughter be too dear, take't for a smile; My trade is jesting now, or quibble speaking, Strange: trade you'll say, for it's set up with breaking; My shop and I, am all at your command, For lawful English laughter paid at hand, Now will I trust no more, it were in vain To break, and make a Craddock of my brain: Half have not paid me yet, first there is one Owes me a quart for his declamation, Another's morning draught, is not yet paid For four Epistles at the election made, Nor dare I cross him who does owe as yet Three eli of jests to line Priorums wit. But here's a Courtier has so long a bill, 'Twill fright him to behold it, yet I will Relate the sums: Item, he owes me first, For an Inprimis: but what grieves me worst, A dainty Epigram on his spaniel's tail Cost me an hour, besides five pots of Ale, Item an Anagram on his mistress name, Item the speech wherewith he courts his Dame, And an old blubbered scowling Elegy Upon his Master's dogs sad exequy, Nor can I yet the time directly gather, When I was paid for an Epitaph on's father, Besides he never yet gave me content For the new coining of's last compliment, Should I speak all? be't spoken to his praise, The total sums is, what he thinks, or says, I will not let you run so much o'th' score, Poor Duck-lane brains, trust me, I'll trust no more, Shall's jest for nought, have you all conscience lost? Or do you think our Sack did nothing cost? Well, than it must be done as I have said, I needs must be with present laughter paid, I am a freeman, for by this sweet rhyme, The fellows know I have secured the time, Yet if you please to grace my poor adventures, I'm bound to you in more than ten Indentures.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
But what is a Pedler? why, what's that to you? yet for the satisfaction of him whom I most respect, my right honourable selfe, I will define him. A Pedler is an Idiuduum vagum, or the Primum mobile of Tradesmen, a walking Burse, or moueable Exchange, a Socraticall Citizen of the vast vniuerse, or a peripateticall Iournyman, that like another Atlas carries his heauenly shop on's Shoulders. I am a Pedler, and I sll my ware This braue Saint Barthol▪ or Sturbridge faire, I'll sell all for laughter, that's all my gaines, Such Chapmn should be laught at for their paines. Come buy my wits which I haue hither brought, For wit is neuer good till it be bought; Let me not beare all backe, buy some the while, If laughter be too deare, tak't for a smile; My trade is iesting now, or quible speaking, Strang: trade you'l say, for its set vp with breaking; My shop and I, am all at your command, For lawfull English laughter paid at hand, Now will I trust no more, it were in vaine To breake, and make a Craddock of my braine: Halfe haue not paid me yet, first there is one Owes me a quart for his declamation, Anothers morning draught, is not yet paid For foure Epistles at the election made, Nor dare I crosse him who do's owe as yet Three elli of iests to line Priorums wit. But heer's a Courtier has so long a bill▪ 'Twill fright him to behold it, yet I will Relate the summes: Item, he owes me first, For a Inprimis: but what grieues me worst, A dainy Epigram on his Spaniels taile Cost me an houre, besides fiue pots of Ale, Item an Anagram on his mistrisse name, Item the speech wherewith he courts his Dame, And an old blubberd scowling Elgy Vpon his Masters dogs sad exequy, Nor can I yet the time directly gathr, When I was paid for an Epitaph on's father, Besides he neuer yet gaue mee content For the new coyning of's last complement, Should I speake all? be't spoken to his praise, The totall summs is, what he thinks, or sayes, I will not let you runne so much o'th score, Poore Ducke-Lane braines, trust me, I'l trust no more, Shall's iest for nought, haue you all conscience lost? Or doe you thinke our Sacke did nothing cost? Well, then it must be done as I haue said, I needes must be with present laughter payd, I am a freeman, for by this sweet ryme, The fellowes know I haue secur'd the time, Yet if you please to grace my poore aduentures, I'm bound to you in more than ten Indentures.