The Conceited Pedlar (The University Pedlar) · chunk 3 of 8
Randolph, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1627 [Nov 1] (Annals) entertainment; academic entertainment unassigned nearest T6 Money, debt and credit · 475 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T6: money, master, pound, law, lawyer, chain, gentleman, gold, pay, pray.
But a pox on Skelton's fury, I'll open my Shop in honester prose, and first, Gentlemen, I'll show you half a dozen of incomparable points. I would give you the definition of points, but that I think you have them at your fingers ends, yet for your better understanding, A point is nobody, a common term, an extreme friend of a good man's longitude, whose centre and circumference join in one diametrical opposition to your equilateral Doublets, or equicrural Breeches; but to speak to the point, though not to the purpose. 1 The first point is a point of honesty, but is almost worn out, and has never been in request since trunk-hose and Codpiece breeches went out of fashion, it's made of simplicity Ribbon, and tagged with plain dealing; if there be any knaves among you (as I hope you are not all fools,) faith buy this point of honesty, and the best use you can put it to, is to tie the band of affection: but I fear, this point will find no Chapman, some of you had rather sell, than with Demosthenes buy honesty at so dear a rate: oh, I could wish that the Breeches of Bowsers, Stewards; Taxors, Receivers, and Auditors were trussed with these honesty points; but some will not be tied to it, but hist Tom, it is dangerous untrussing the time. 2 The next is a point of Knavery, but I have enough of them already, yet because I am loath to carry mine any longer about me, who gives me most, shall take it, and the devil give him good on't: this point is cut out of villainous Sheepskin parchment in a scrivener's Shop, tagged with the gold of a Ring, which the Pillory robbed him of, when it borrowed his ears; if he do but fasten this to the new Doublet of a young Squire, it will make him grow so corpulent in the middle, that there will be nothing but Waste, this point of Knavery has been a man in his days, and the best of the Parish, fourteen of them go to our Bakers dozen. The definition of him may be this: a point of Knavery, is an occult quality tied on a riding knot, the better to play fast and loose, he was borne in Buckram, h'as run through all offices in the Parish, and now stands to be President of Bridewell, where I leave him, hoping to see him trussed at Tyburn. 3 Amongst all my points, a point of ignorance is the very Alderman of the dozen. This is the richest point in my pack, and is never out of fashion at Inns of Court: if you buy this point, you are arrant fools, for I'll give you this gift, that you shall have it in spite of your teeths.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
But a pox on Skeltons ury, Ile open my Shop in honester prose, and first, Gentlemen, I'l shew you halfe a dozen of incomparable poynts. I would giue you the definition of points, but that I think you haue them at your fingers ends, yet for your better vnderstanding, A poynt is no body, a common terme, an extreme friend of a good mans longitude, whose center and circumference ioyne in one diametricall opposition to your equilaterall Doublets, or equicrurall Breeches; but to speake to the point, though not to the purpose. 1 The first point is a point of honesty, but is almost worn out, and has neuer beene in request since trunck-Hose and Codpeecebreeches went out of fashion, it's made of simplicity Ribbon, and tagged with plaine dealing; if there be any knaues among you (s I hope you are not all fooles,) faith buy this point of honesty, and the best vse you can put it to, is to tye the band of affection: but I feare, this point will finde no Chapman, some of you had rather sell, than with Demosthnes buy honesty at so deare a rate: oh, I could wish that the Breeches of Bowsers, Stewards; Taxors, Receiuers, and Auditors were trussed with these honesty points; but some will not bee tyed to it, but hist To, it is dangerous vntrussing the time. 2 The next is a point of Knauery, but I haue enow of them already, yet because I am loth to carry mine any longer about me, who giues me most, shall take it, and the diuell giue him good on't: this point is cut out of villanous Sheepeskin parchment in a Scriueners Shop, tagg'd with the gold of a Ring, which the Pillory robb'd him of, when it borrowed his eares; if he doe but fasten this to the new Doublet of a yong Squire, it will make him grow so corpulent in the middle, that there will be nothing but Waste, this point of Knauery has bin a man in his dayes, and the best of the Parish, foureteene of them goe to our Bakers dozen. The definition of him may be this: a point of Knauery, is an occult quality tyed on a riding knot, the better to play fast and loose, he was borne in Buckram, h'as runne through all offices in the Parish, and now stands to be President of Bridewell, where I leaue him, oping to see him truss'd at Tiburne. 3 Amongst all my points, a point of ignorance is the very Alderman of the dozen. This is the richest point in my packe, and is neuer out of fashion at Innes of Court: if you buy this point, you are arrant fooles, for I'l giue you this gift, that you shall haue it in spite of your teeths.