Middleton, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1613 (Annals) comedy · Lady Elizabeth's Men · Swan T58 Gallant talk and courtship: an Epicene-c typicality 0.81 · 483 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T58: jack, john, daw, dauphine, amorous, mistress, trve, ladies, wit, madame.
That's full, five or six cauldron, new laid up, Look in my back yard, I shall find a steeple Made up with Kentish faggots, which o'erlooks The Water-House and the Windmills, I say nothing But smile, and pin the door, when she lies in, As now she's even upon the point of grunting, A Lady lies not in like her, there's her embossings, embroidering, spanglings, and I know not what, As if she lay with all the gaudy Shops In Gressam's burse about her, than her restoratives, Able to set up a young Pothecary, And richly stock, the Foreman of a Drug-shop. Her Sugar by whole Loaves, her Wines by roundlets. I see these things, but like a happy Man, I pay for none at all, yet Fools think's mine, I have the name, and in his Gold I shine. And where some Merchants would in Soul kiss Hell, To buy a Paradise for their Wines, and die Their Conscience in the Bloods of prodigal Heirs, To deck their Night-piece, yet all this being done, Eaten with jealousy to the inmost Bone, As what affliction Nature more constrains, Then feed the Wife plump, for another's veins. These torments stand I freed of, I am as clear From jealousy of a Wife, as from the charge. O two miraculous blessings, 'tis the Knight Hath took that labour, all out of my hands, I may sit still and play, he's jealous for me, Watches her steps, sets spies, I live at ease, He has both the cost and torment, when the strings Of his Heart frets, I feed, laugh, or sing, La dildo, dildo la dildo, la dildo dildo de dildo. What has he got a singing in his Head now? Now's out of work he falls to making dildoes. Now Sirs, Sir Walters come. Is our Master come? Your Master, what am I? Do not you know Sir? Pray am not I your Master? O you are but our Mistress's Husband. Ergo Knave, your Master. Negatur argumentum. Here comes Sir Walter, now a stands bare as well as we, make the most of him he's but one peep above a Servingman, and so much his horns make him. How dost Jack? Proud of your worship's health Sir. How does your Wife? e'en after your own making Sir, She's a tumbler a faith, the Nose and Belly meets. they'll part in time again. At the good hour, they will and please your worship. Here Sirrah, pull off my Boots. Put on, but on Jack. I thank your kind worship Sir. Slippers, Heart you are sleepy. The game begins already. Pish, put on Jack. Now I must do it, or he'll be as angry now, as if I had put it on at first bidding, 'tis but observing, 'tis but observing a Man's humour once, and he may ha' him by the Nose all his life.
seed 43: T54 · seed 44: T54 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
That's full, fiue or ſixe Chaldorne, new layd vp, Looke in my backe yeard, I ſhall find a ſteeple Made vp with Kentiſh Fagot's, which o're-lookes The Water-Houſe and the Wind-milles, I ſay nothing But ſmile, and pin the doore, when ſhe lyes in, As now ſhe's euen vpon the point of grunting, A Lady lyes not in like her, there's her imboſſings, Embrodring, ſpanglings, and I know not what, As if ſhe lay withall the gaudy Shops In Greſſams Burſſe about her, then her reſtoratiues, Able to ſet vp a young Pothecarie, And richly ſtocke, the Foreman of a Drug-ſhop. Her Sugar by whole Loaues, her Wines by Rundlets. I ſee theſe things, but like a happy Man, I pay for none at all, yet Fooles think's mine, I haue the name, and in his Gold I ſhine. And where ſome Merchants would in Soule kiſſe Hell, To buy a Paradice for their Wines, and dye Their Conſcience in the Bloods of prodigall Heires, To decke their Night-peece, yet all this being done, Eaten with iealouſie to the inmoſt Bone, As what affliction Nature more conſtraynes, Then feed the Wife plumpe, for anothers veynes. Theſe torments ſtand I freed of, I am as cleere From iealouſie of a Wife, as from the charge. O two miraculous bleſſings, 'tis the Knight Hath tooke that labour, all out of my hands, I may ſit ſtill and play, he's iealouſe for me, Watches her ſteps, ſets ſpyes, I liue at eaſe, He has both the coſt and torment, when the ſtrings Of his Heart freats, I feed, laugh, or ſing, La dildo, dildo la dildo, la dildo dildo de dildo. What has he got a ſinging in his Head now? Now's out of worke he falles to making Dildo's. Now Sirs, Sr Walters come. Is our Maſter come? Your Maſter, what am I? Doe not you know Sir? Pray am not I your Maſter? O you are but our Miſtreſſes Husband. Ergo Knaue, your Maſter. Negatur argumentum. Here comes Sr Walter, now a ſtands bare as well as we, make the moſt of him he's but one peepe aboue a Seruingman, and ſo much his Hornes make him. How doſt Iacke? Proud of your Worſhips health Sir. How does your Wife? Eene after your owne making Sir, She's a tumbler a faith, the Noſe and Belly meets. The 'ile part in time againe. At the good houre, they will and pleaſe your worſhip. Here Sirra, pull off my Boots. Put on, but on Iacke. I thanke your kind worſhip Sir. Slippers, Heart you are ſleepy. The game begins already. Piſh, put on Iacke. Now I muſt doe it, or he'le be as angry now, as if I had put it on at firſt bidding, 'tis but obſeruing, 'tis but obſeruing a Mans humour once, and he may ha' him by the Noſe all his life.