Middleton, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1613 (Annals) comedy · Lady Elizabeth's Men · Swan unassigned nearest T27 Uncles, nephews and cousins: kinship and · 489 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T27: uncle, niece, nephew, gentlemen, faith, cousin, wife, house, gentleman, money.
There's a Gentleman, I haply have his Name too, that has got Nine Children by one Water that he useth, It never misses, they come so fast upon him, He was fain to give it over. His name sweet Iugg? One Mr Tuchwood, a fine Gentleman, But run behindhand much with getting Children. Is't possible? Why Sir, he'll undertake, Using that Water, within fifteen year, For all your wealth, to make you a poor Man, You shall so swarm with Children. I'll venture that i'faith. That shall you Husband. But I must tell you first, he's very dear. No matter, what serves wealth for? True sweet Husband, There's Land to come, Put case his Water stands me In some five hundred pound a pint, 'Twill fetch a thousand, and a Kersten Soul. I'll about it. And that's worth all sweet Husband. I'll go bid Gossips presently myself, That's all the work I'll do, nor need I stir, But that it is my pleasure to walk forth And air myself a little, I am tied to nothing In this business, what I do is merely recreation, Not constraint. Here's running to and fro, Nurse upon Nurse, Three Chare women, besides maids & neighbour's children. Fie, what a trouble have I rid my Hands on, It makes me sweat to think on't. How now Jack? I am going to bid Gossips for your Wps child Sir, A goodly Girl i'faith, give you joy on her, She looks as if she had two thousand pound to her portion And run away with a tailor, A fine plump black eyed slut, Under correction Sir, I take delight to see her: Nurse. Do you call Sir? I call not you, I call the Wet Nurse hither, Give me the wet Nurse, I 'tis thou, Come hither, come hither, let's see her once again; I cannot choose But buss her thrice an hour. You may be proud on't Sir, 'Tis the best piece of work that e'er you did. Thinkest thou so Nurse, What sayest to Wat and Nick? They're pretty children both, but here's a wench Will be a knocker. Pup sayst thou me so, pup little Countess, Faith Sir I thank your Worship for this Girl, Ten thousand times, and upward. I am glad I have her for you Sir. Here take her in Nurse, wipe her, and give her Spoon-meat. Wipe your Mouth Sir. And now about these Gossips. Get but two, I'll stand for one myself. To your own Child Sir? The better policy, it prevents suspicion, 'Tis good to play with rumor at all weapons. Troth I commend your care Sir, 'tis a thing That I should ne'er have thought on. The more Slave, When Man turns base, out goes his Souls pure flame, The fat of ease o'erthrows the eyes of shame. I am studying who to get for Godmother Suitable to your Worship, Now I ha' thought on't.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
There's a Gentleman, I haply haue his Name too, that has got Nine Children by one Water that he vſeth, It neuer miſes, they come ſo faſt vpon him, He was faine to giue it ouer. His name ſweet Iugg? One Mr Tuchwood, a fine Gentleman, But run behind-hand much with getting Children. Iſt poſſible? Why Sir, he'le vndertake, Vſing that Water, within fifteene yeere, For all your wealth, to make you a poore Man, You ſhall ſo ſwarme with Children. I'le venture that I faith. That ſhall you Husband. But I muſt tell you firſt, he's very deere. No matter, what ſerues wealth for? True ſweet Husband, There's Land to come, Put caſe his Water ſtands me In ſome fiue hundred pound a pint, 'Twill fetch a thouſand, and a Kerſten Soule. I'le about it. And that's worth all ſweet Husband. I'le goe bid Goſſips preſently my ſelfe, That's all the worke I'le doe, nor need I ſtirre, But that it is my pleaſure to walke forth And ayre my ſelfe a little, I am ty'd to nothing In this buſineſſe, what I doe is meerely recreation, Not conſtraint. Here's running to and fro, Nurſe vpon Nurſe, Three Chare women, beſides maids & neighbors children. Fye, what a trouble haue I rid my Hands on, It makes me ſweat to thinke on't. How now Iacke? I am going to bid Goſſips for your Wps child Sir, A goodly Girle I faith, giue you ioy on her, She looks as if ſhe had two thouſand pound to her portion And run away with a Taylor, A fine plumpe black ei'd ſlut, Vnder correction Sir, I take delight to ſee her: Nurſe. Doe you call Sir? I call not you, I call the Wet Nurſe hither, Giue me the wet Nurſe, I 'tis thou, Come hither, come hither, Lets ſee her once againe; I cannot chuſe But buſſe her thrice an hower. You may be proud on't Sir, 'Tis the beſt peece of worke that e're you did. Think'ſt thou ſo Nurſe, What ſayeſt to Wat and Nicke? They're pretie children both, but here's a wench Will be a knocker. Pup ſay'ſt thou me ſo, pup little Counteſſe, Faith Sir I thanke your Worſhip for this Girle, Ten thouſand times, and vpward. I am glad I haue her for you Sir. Here take her in Nurſe, wipe her, and giue her Spoone-meat. Wipe your Mouth Sir. And now about theſe Goſſips. Get but two, I'le ſtand for one my ſelfe. To your owne Child Sir? The better pollicie, it preuents ſuſpition, 'Tis good to play with rumor at all weapons. Troth I commend your care Sir, 'tis a thing That I ſhould ne're haue thought on. The more Slaue, When Man turnes baſe, out goes his Soules pure flame, The fat of eaſe o're-throwes the eyes of ſhame. I am ſtudying who to get for Godmother Sutable to your Worſhip, Now I ha' thought on't.