Middleton, Thomas · published 1630 · first performed or written 1613 (Annals) comedy · Lady Elizabeth's Men · Swan unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 490 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Here's nothing but disputing all the day long with 'em. Sic disputus, stultus est homo sicut tu & ego sum homo est animal rationale, sicut stultus est animal rationale. Your reasons are both good whate'er they be Pray give them o'er, faith you'll tire yourselves, What's the matter between you? Nothing but reasoning about a Fool Mother. About a Fool Son, alas what need you trouble your heads about that, none of us all but knows what a Fool is. Why what's a Fool Mother? I come to you now. Why one that's married before he has wit. 'Tis pretty i'faith, and well guest of a Woman never brought up at the University: but bring forth what Fool you will Mother, I'll prove him to be as reasonable a Creature, as myself or my Tutor here. Fie 'tis impossible. Nay he shall do't forsooth. 'Tis the easiest thing to prove a Fool by Logic, By Logic I'll prove any thing. What thou wilt not? I'll prove a Whore to be an honest Woman. Nay by my faith, she must prove that herself, or Logic will never do't. 'Twill do't I tell you. Some in this Street would give a thousand pounds that you could prove their Wives so. Faith I can, and all their Daughters too, though they had three Bastards. When comes your tailor hither? Why what of him? By Logic I'll prove him to be a Man, Let him come when he will. How hard at first was Learning to him? Truly Sir I thought he would never a took the Latin Tongue. How many Accidences do you think he wore out ere he came to his Grammar? Some three or four. Believe me Sir some four and thirty. Pish I made haberdins of 'em in Church porches He was eight years in his Grammar, and stuck horribly at a foolish place there called Ass in presenti. Pox I have it here now. He so shamed me once before an honest Gentleman that knew me when I was a Maid These women must have all out. Quidest Gramatica? Says the Gentleman to him (I shall remember by a sweet sweet token) but nothing could he answer. How now Pupil, ha, Quid est Gramatica? Grammatica? Ha, ha, ha. Nay do not laugh Son, but let me hear you say it now: There was one word went so prettily off the Gentleman's tongue, I shall remember it the longest day of my life. Come, Quid est Gramatica? Are you not ashamed Tutor, Gramatica? Why Recte scribendi atque loquendi ars, ser-reverence of my Mother. That was it i'faith: Why now Son I see you are a deep Scholar: And Mr Tutor a word I pray, let us withdraw a little into my husband's Chamber, I'll send in the North-Wales Gentlewoman to him, she looks for wooing: I'll put together both, and lock the Door. I give great approbation to your conclusion.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Here's nothing but diſputing all the day long with 'em. Sic diſputus, ſtultus eſt homo ſicut tu & ego ſum homo eſt animal rationale, ſicut ſtultus eſt animal rationale. Your reaſons are both good what e're they be Pray giue them or'e, faith you'le tire your ſelues, What's the matter betweene you? Nothing but reaſoning about a Foole Mother. About a Foole Son, alas what need you trouble your heads about that, none of vs all but knowes what a Foole is. Why what's a Foole Mother? I come to you now. Why one that's married before he has wit. 'Tis prettie I faith, and well gueſt of a Woman neuer brought vp at the Vniuerſitie: but bring forth what Foole you will Mother, I'le proue him to be as reaſonable a Creature, as my ſelfe or my Tutor here. Fye 'tis impoſſible. Nay he ſhall do't forſooth. 'Tis the eaſieſt thing to proue a Foole by Logicke, By Logicke I'le proue any thing. What thou wilt not? I'le proue a Whore to be an honeſt Woman. Nay by my faith, ſhe muſt proue that her ſelfe, or Logicke will neuer do't. 'Twill do't I tell you. Some in this Street would giue a thouſand pounds that you could proue their Wiues ſo. Faith I can, and all their Daughters too, though they had three Baſtards. When comes your Taylor hither? Why what of him? By Logicke I'le proue him to be a Man, Let him come when he will. How hard at firſt was Learning to him? Truly Sir I thought he would neuer a tooke the Latine Tongue. How many Accidences doe you thinke he wore out e're he came to his Grammer? Some three or foure. Beleeue me Sir ſome foure and thirtie. Piſh I made haberdins of 'em in Church porches He was eight yeeres in his Grammer, and ſtucke horribly at a fooliſh place there call'd Aſſe in preſenti. Pox I haue it here now. He ſo ſham'd me once before an honeſt Gentleman that knew me when I was a Mayd Theſe women muſt haue all out. Quideſt Gramatica? Sayes the Gentleman to him (I ſhall remember by a ſweet ſweet token) but nothing could he anſwer. How now Pupill, ha, Quid eſt Gramatica? Grammatica? Ha, ha, ha. Nay doe not laugh Sonne, but let me heare you ſay it now: There was one word went ſo prettily off the Gentlemans tongue, I ſhall remember it the longeſt day of my life. Come, Quid eſt Gramatica? Are you not aſham'd Tutor, Gramatica? Why Recte ſcribendi at que loquendi ars, ſer-reuerence of my Mother. That was it I faith: Why now Sonne I ſee you are a deepe Scholler: And Mr Tutor a word I pray, let vs with-draw a little into my Husbands Chamber, I'le ſend in the North-Wales Gentlewoman to him, ſhe lookes for wooing: I'le put together both, and locke the Dore. I giue great approbation to your concluſion.