Jonson, Ben · published 1631 · first performed or written 1614 [Oct 31] (Annals) comedy · Lady Elizabeth's Men T9 Theatre talk: prologues, poets and playe typicality 0.79 · 500 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T9: play, stage, poet, prologue, author, wit, plays, muse, scene, players.
GEntlemen, have a little patience, they are even upon coming, instantly. He that should begin the Play, Master Littlewit, the Proctor, has a stitch new fall'n in his black silk stocking; 'twill be drawn up ere you can tell twenty. He plays one o'the Arches, that dwells about the Hospital, and he has a very pretty part. But for the whole Play, will you ha'the truth on't? (I am looking, jest the Poet hear me, or his man, Master Broome, behind the Arras) it is like to be a very conceited scurvy one, in plain English. When't comes to the Fair, once: you were even as good go to Virginia, for any thing there is of Smithfield. He has not hit the humours, he does not know 'em; he has not conversed with the Bartholomew-birds, as they say; he has ne'er a Sword, and Buckler man in his Fair, nor a little Davy, to take toll o'the Bawds there, as in my time, nor a Kind-heart, if any body's teeth should chance to ache in his Play. Nor a juggler with a well-educated Ape to come over the chain, for the King of England, and back again for the Prince, and sit still on his arse for the Pope, and the King of Spain! None o'these fine sights! Nor has he the Canvas-cut i'th' night, for a Hobby-horse-man to creep into his she-neighbour, and take his leap there! Nothing! Not, and some writer (that I know) had had but the penning o' this matter, he would ha' made you such a jig-ajogge i'the booths, you should ha' thought an earthquake had been i'the Fair! But these Master- Poets, they will ha' their own absurd courses; they will be informed of nothing! He has (sirreverence) kicked me three, or four times about the Tiring-house, I thank him, for but offering to put in, with my experience. I'll be judged by you, gentlemans, now, but for one conceit of mine! would not a fine Pump upon the Stage ha' done well, for a property now? and a Punk set under upon her head, with her Stern upward, and ha' been soused by my witty young masters o'the Inns o' Court? what think you o''is for a show, now? he will not hear o''is! I am an Ass! I! and yet I kept the Stage in Master Tarlton's time, I thank my stars. Ho! and that man had lived to have played in Bartholomew Fair, you should ha' seen him ha' come in, and ha' been cozened i'the Cloth-quarter, so finely! And Adams, the Rogue, ha' leapt and capered upon him, and ha' dealt his vermin about, as though they had cost him nothing. And than a substantial watch to ha' stolen in upon 'em, and taken 'em away, with mistaking words, as the fashion is, in the Stage-practice. How now? what rare discourse are you fall'n upon? ha'? ha you found any familiars here, that you are so free? what's the business?
seed 43: T16 · seed 44: T15 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
GEntlemen, haue a little patience, they are e'en vpon comming, inſtantly. He that ſhould beginne the Play, Maſter Littlewit, the Proctor, has a ſtitch new falne in his black ſilk ſtocking; 'twill be drawn vp ere you can tell twenty. He playes one o'the Arches, that dwels about the Hoſpitall, and hee has a very pretty part. But for the whole Play, will you ha'the truth on't? (I am looking, leſt the Poet heare me, or his man, Maſter Broome, behind the Arras) it is like to be a very conceited ſcuruy one, in plaine Engliſh. When't comes to the Fayre, once: you were e'en as good goe to Ʋirginia, for any thing there is of Smith-field. Hee has not hit the humors, he do's not know 'hem; hee has not conuers'd with the Bartholmew-birds, as they ſay; hee has ne're a Sword, and Buckler man in his Fayre, nor a little Dauy, to take toll o'the Bawds there, as in my time, nor a Kind-heart, if any bodies teeth ſhould chance to ake in his Play. Nor a Iugler with a wel-educated Ape to come ouer the chaine, for the King of England, and backe againe for the Prince, and ſit ſtill on his arſe for the Pope, and the King of Spaine! None o'theſe fine ſights! Nor has he the Canuas-cut 'ithe night, for a Hobby-horſe-man to creepe into his ſhe-neighbour, and take his leap there! Nothing! No, and ſome writer (that I know) had had but the penning o' this matter, hee would ha' made you ſuch a Iig-ajogge i'the boothes, you ſhould ha' thought an earthquake had beene i'the Fayre! But theſe Maſter-Poets, they will ha' their owne abſurd courſes; they will be inform'd of nothing! Hee has (ſirreuerence) kick'd me three, or foure times about the Tyring-houſe, I thanke him, for but offering to putt in, with my experience. I'le be iudg'd by you, Gentlemen, now, but for one conceit of mine! would not a fine Pumpe vpon the Stage ha' done well, for a property now? and a Punque ſet vnder vpon her head, with her Sterne vpward, and ha' beene ſous'd by my wity young maſters o'the Innes o' Court? what thinke you o'this for a ſhew, now? hee will not heare o'this! I am an Aſſe! I! and yet I kept the Stage in Maſter Tarletons time, I thanke my ſtarres. Ho! and that man had liu'd to haue play'd in Bartholmew Fayre, you ſhould ha' ſeene him ha' come in, and ha' beene coozened i'the Cloath-quarter, ſo finely! And Adams, the Rogue, ha leap'd and caper'd vpon him, and ha' dealt his vermine about, as though they had coſt him nothing. And then a ſubſtantiall watch to ha' ſtolne in vpon 'hem, and taken 'hem away, with miſtaking words, as the faſhion is, in the Stage-practice. How now? what rare diſcourſe are you falne vpon? ha? ha' you found any familiars here, that you are ſo free? what's the buſineſſe?