Jonson, Ben · published 1631 · first performed or written 1614 [Oct 31] (Annals) comedy · Lady Elizabeth's Men T45 Widows, wooing and remarriage typicality 0.72 · 500 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T45: widow, widows, hoord, master, gentlemen, wife, randalls, wit, mistress, married.
Heyday! how respective you are become o'the sudden! I fear this family will turn you reform too, pray you come about again. Because she is in possibility to be your daughter in law, and may ask you blessing hereafter, when she courts it to Totnam to eat cream. Well, I will forbear, Sir, but i'faith, would thou wouldst leave thy exercise of widow-hunting once! this drawing after an old reverend Smock by the splay-foot: There cannot be an ancient Tripe or Trillibub i'the Town, but thou art strait nosing it, and 'tis a fine occupation thou'lt confine thyself to, when thou hast got one; scrubbing a piece of Buff, as if thou hadst the perpetuity of Pannyer-alley to stink in; or perhaps, worse, currying a carcase, that thou hast bound thyself to alive. I'll besworne, some of them, (that thou art, or hast been a Suitor to) are so old, as no chaste or married pleasure can ever become 'em: the honest Instrument of procreation, has (forty years since) left to belong to 'em, thou must visit 'em, as thou wouldst do a Tomb, with a Torch, or three handfuls of Link, flaming hot, and so thou mayst hap to make 'em feel thee, and after, come to inherit according to thy inches. A sweet course for a man to waste the brand of life for, to be still raking himself a fortune in an old woman's embers; we shall ha' thee after thou hast been but a month married to one of 'em, look like the quartane ague, and the black jaundice met in a face, and walk as if thou hadst borrowed legs of a Spinner, and voice of a Cricket. I would endure to hear fifteen Sermons aweeke for her, and such course, and loud one's, as some of 'em must be; I would e'en desire of Fate, I might devil in a drum, and take in my sustenance, with an old broken Tobacco-pipe and a Straw. Dost thou ever think to bring thine ears or stomach, to the patience of a dry grace, as long as thy Tablecloth? and drowned out by thy son, here, (that might be thy father;) till all the meat o'thy board has forgot, it was that day i'the Kitchen? Or to brook the noise made, in a question of Predestination, by the good labourers and painful eaters, assembled together, put to 'em by the Matron, your Spouse; who moderates with a cup of wine, ever and anon, and a Sentence out of Knox between? or the perpetual spitting, before, and after a sober drawn exhortation of six hours, whose better part was the hune-hahum? Or to hear prayers groaned out, over thy iron-chests, as if they were charms to break 'hem? And all this for the hope of two Apostle-spoons, to suffer! and a cup to eat a caudle in! For that will be thy legacy. She'll ha' conveyed her state, safe enough from thee, an she be a right widow.
seed 43: T40 · seed 44: T40 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Hoy-day! how reſpectiue you are become o'the ſudden! I feare this family will turne you reformed too, pray you come about againe. Becauſe ſhe is in poſſibility to be your daughter in law, and may aske you bleſſing hereafter, when ſhe courts it to Totnam to eat creame. Well, I will forbeare, Sir, but i'faith, would thou wouldſt leaue thy exerciſe of widdow-hunting once! this drawing after an old reuerend Smocke by the ſplay-foote: There cannot be an ancient Tripe or Trillibub i'the Towne, but thou art ſtraight noſing it, and 'tis a fine occupation thou'lt confine thy ſelfe to, when thou ha'ſt got one; ſcrubbing a piece of Buffe, as if thou hadſt the perpetuity of Pannyer-alley to ſtinke in; or perhaps, worſe, currying a carkaſſe, that thou haſt bound thy ſelfe to aliue. I'll beſworne, ſome of them, (that thou art, or haſt beene a Suitor to) are ſo old, as no chaſt or marryed pleaſure can euer become 'hem: the honeſt Inſtrument of procreation, has (forty yeeres ſince) left to belong to 'hem, thou muſt viſit 'hem, as thou wouldſt doe a Tombe, with a Torch, or three hand-fulls of Lincke, flaming hot, and ſo thou maiſt hap to make 'hem feele thee, and after, come to inherit according to thy inches. A ſweet courſe for a man to waſte the brand of life for, to be ſtill raking himſelfe a fortune in an old womans embers; we ſhall ha' thee after thou haſt beene but a moneth marryed to one of 'hem, looke like the quartane ague, and the black Iaundiſe met in a face, and walke as if thou had'ſt borrow'd legges of a Spinner, and voyce of a Cricket. I would endure to heare fifteene Sermons aweeke for her, and ſuch courſe, and lowd one's, as ſome of 'hem muſt be; I would een deſire of Fate, I might dwell in a drumme, and take in my ſuſtenance, with an old broken Tobacco-pipe and a Straw. Doſt thou euer thinke to bring thine eares or ſtomack, to the patience of a drie grace, as long as thy Tablecloth? and droan'd out by thy ſonne, here, (that might be thy father;) till all the meat o'thy board has forgot, it was that day i'the Kitchin? Or to brooke the noiſe made, in a queſtion of Predeſtination, by the good labourers and painefull eaters, aſſembled together, put to 'hem by the Matron, your Spouſe; who moderates with a cup of wine, euer and anone, and a Sentence out of Knoxe between? or the perpetuall ſpitting, before, and after a ſober drawne exhortation of ſix houres, whoſe better part was the hune-hahum? Or to heare prayers groan'd out, ouer thy iron-cheſts, as if they were charmes to breake 'hem? And all this for the hope of two Apoſtle-ſpoones, to ſuffer! and a cup to eate a cawdle in! For that will be thy legacy. She'll ha' conuey'd her ſtate, ſafe enough from thee, an' ſhe be a right widdow.