Heywood, Thomas / Rowley, William · published 1632 · first performed or written 1611 [1611-1614] (Annals) comedy · Unknown T27 Uncles, nephews and cousins: kinship and typicality 0.81 · 498 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T27: uncle, niece, nephew, gentlemen, faith, cousin, wife, house, gentleman, money.
Why, gramercy coz; now if the dice do run right, This 40. shillings may set me up again: To lay't on my back, And so to pawn it, there's ne'er a damned Broker In the world will give me half the worth on't: No, whilst 'tis in ready cash, that's the surest Way; 7. is better than 11. a pox take the bones And they will not favour a man sometimes. Look you Uncle, there's 40. shillings for you. As many good Angels guard thee, as thou hast given Me bad ones to seduce me, for these deputy devils Dam worse than the old ones. Now coz, pray listen, Listen after my transformation; I will henceforth Turn an Apostate to prodigality; I will eat Cheese and Onions and buy lordships, and will Not you think this strange? I am glad y'are merry, Uncle; but this is fixed Betwixt an Uncle and a nephew's love, Though my estate be poor, revenues scant, Whilst I have any left, you shall not want. Why gramercy, by this hand I'll make Thee an Alderman before I die, do but Follow my steps. Sirrah, will the Churchman come I sent you for? Yes, mistress, he will come: but pray resolve Me one thing for my long service; What Business have you with the Churchman? Is it to make your Will, or to get you a new Husband? Suppose to make my Will, how then? Then I would desire you to remember me, Mistress, I have served you long, and that's the best Service to a woman: make a good Will if you Mean to die, that it may not be said, Though Most women be long lived, yet they all die With an ill-will. So Sir, suppose it be for marriage. Why then remember yourself mistress; Take heed how you give away the head; It stands yet upon the shoulders of Your widowhood; the loving embracing Ivy Has yet the upper place in the house; If you give it to the Holly, take heed, There's pricks in Holly; or if you fear not The pricks, take heed of the wands, you Cannot have the pricks without the wands; You give away the sword, and must defend yourself with the scabbard; these are pretty Instructions of a friend; I would be loath to See you cast down, and not well taken up. Well Sir, well, let not all this trouble you; See, he's come; Will you be gone? I will first give him a caveat, to use you As kindly as he can. If you find my mistress Have a mind to this coupling at barleybreak, Let her not be the last couple to be left in hell. I would I knew your meaning, Sir. If she have a mind to a fresh husband, or So, use her as well as you can; let her enter Into as easy bands as may be. Sir, this is none of my traffic; I sell no husbands.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: T37 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Why, gramerey Cuz; now if the dice doe run right, This 40. shillings may set me up agen: To lay't on my backe, And so to pawne it, there's ne'r a damb'd Broker In the world will give me halfe the worth on't: No, whil'st 'tis in ready cash, that's the surest Way; 7. is better than 11. a pox take the bones And they will not favour a man sometimes. Looke you Vncle, there's 40. shillings for you. As many good Angells guard thee, as thou hast given Me bad ones to seduce me, for these deputy divells Dam worse than the old ones. Now Cuz, pray listen, Listen after my transformation; I will henceforth Turne an Apostate to prodigality; I will eate Cheese and Onions and buy lordships, and will Not you thinke this strange? I am glad y'are merry, Vncle; but this is fixt Betwixt an Vncle and a Nephewes love, Though my estate be poore, revenewes scant, Whil'st I have any left, you shall not want. Why gramercy, by this hand Ile make Thee an Alderman before I dye, doe but Follow my steps. Sirra, will the Churchman come I sent you for? Yes, mistris, he will come: but pray resolve Me one thing for my long service; What Businesse have you with the Churchman? Is it to make your Will, or to get you a new Husband? Suppose to make my Will, how then? Then I would desire you to remember me, Mistris, I have serv'd you long, and that's the best Service to a woman: make a good Will if you Meane to dye, that it may not be said, Though Most women be long liv'd, yet they all dye With an ill-will. So Sir, suppose it be for marriage. Why then remember your selfe mistris; Take heede how you give away the head; It stands yet upon the shoulders of Your widdowhood; the loving embracing Ivie Has yet the upper place in the house; If you give it to the Holly, take heede, There's pricks in Holly; or if you feare not The pricks, take heede of the wands, you Cannot have the pricks without the wands; You give away the sword, and must defend Your selfe with the scabbard; these are pretty Instructions of a friend; I would be loth to See you cast downe, and not well taken up. Well Sir, well, let not all this trouble you; See, hee's come; Will you be gone? I will first give him a caveat, to use you As kindely as he can. If you finde my mistris Have a minde to this coupling at barly-breake, Let her not be the last couple to be left in hell. I would I knew your meaning, Sir. If she have a minde to a fresh husband, or So, use her as well as you can; let her enter Into as easie bands as may be. Sir, this is none of my traffique; I sell no husbands.