A New Wonder, A Woman Never Vexed · chunk 12 of 45
Heywood, Thomas / Rowley, William · published 1632 · first performed or written 1611 [1611-1614] (Annals) comedy · Unknown unassigned nearest T27 Uncles, nephews and cousins: kinship and · 478 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T27: uncle, niece, nephew, gentlemen, faith, cousin, wife, house, gentleman, money.
Nay, I pray you friend bear me company a little This way, for into this dicing house I saw my good Son in law enter, and 'tis odds but he meets his Uncle here. You cannot tire me gossip in your company, 'tis the best Affliction I have to see you impatient. ay, ay, you may make mirth of my sorrow. We have hunted well, mistress; do you not see The hare's in sight? Did not I tell you so; ay, ay, there's good counsel Between you, the tone would go afoot to hell, The other the horse-way. Mother, I am sorry you have trod this path. Mother? hang thee wretch, I bore thee not, but Many afflictions I have borne for thee; wert thou Mine own, I'd see thee stretched a handful, and Put thee a Coffin into the Cart, ere thou shouldst vex Me thus. Were I your own, you could not use me worse than you do. I'll make thy father turn thee out for ever, or else I'll make him wish him in his grave; You'll witness With me Gossip where I have found him. Nay, I'll be sworn upon a book of calico for that. It shall not need, I'll not deny that I was with my Uncle. And that shall disinherit thee, if thy father Be an honest man; thou hadst been better to have been borne a viper, and eat thy way through thy Mother's womb into the world, than to tempt my Displeasure. Thou liest Xanthippe; it had been better thou hadst been pressed to death under two Irish Rugs, than to Ride honest Socrates thy husband thus, and abuse his Honest child. Out Raggamuffin, dost thou talk? I shall see thee In Ludgate again shortly. Thou liest again, 't'willbe at More-gate, Beldame, where I shall see thee in the Ditch dancing in a Cucking-stool. I'll see thee hanged first. Thou liest again. Nay Sir, you do wrong to give a woman so many lies, She had rather have had twice so many standings, than One lie. I'll lie with him I'll warrant him. You'll be a whore then. Little less I promise you, if you lie with him. If you complain upon mine honest coz, And that his father be offended with him, The next time I meet thee, though it be i'th' street, dance i'the dirt upon thy velvet Cap; Nay worse, Plestaine thy Ruff; nay worse than that, I'll do thus: O my heart Gossip, do you see this? Was ever Woman thus abused? methinks 'tis good sport i'faith. ay, I am well recompensed to complain to you, Had you such a kindred. I would rejoice in't Gossip. Do so; choose here then; Oh my heart! But I'll do Your errand; Oh that my Nails were not pared! But I'll do Your errand; Will you go Gossip?
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Nay, I pray you friend beare me company a little This way, for into this dicing house I saw my good Son in law enter, and 'tis ods but he meetes his Vncle here. You cannot tire me gossip in your company, 'tis the best Affliction I have to see you impatient. I, I, you may make mirth of my sorrow. We have hunted well, mistris; doe you not see The hare's in sight? Did not I tell you so; I, I, there's good counsell Betweene you, the tone would goe afoote to hell, The other the horseway. Mother, I am sorry you have trod this path. Mother? hang thee wretch, I bore thee not, but Many afflictions I have borne for thee; wert thou Mine owne, I'd see thee stretcht a handfull, and Put thee a Cossin into the Cart, ere thou shouldst vex Me thus. Were I your owne, you could not use me worse than you doe. I'l make thy father turne thee out for ever, or else I'l make him wish him in his grave; You'l witnesse With me Gossip where I have found him. Nay, I'l be sworne upon a booke of Callico for that. It shal not neede, I'l not deny that I was with my Vncle. And that shall disinherit thee, if thy father Be an honest man; thou hadst bin better to have Bin borne a viper, and eate thy way through thy Mothers wombe into the world, than to tempt my Displeasure. Thou lyest Zantippe; it had bin better thou hadst Bin prest to death under two Irish Rugs, than to Ride honest Socrates thy husband thus, and abuse his Honest childe. Out Raggamustin, dost thou talke? I shall see thee In Ludgate againe shortly. Thou lyest agen, 'twilbe at More-gate, Beldam, where I shall see thee in the Ditch dancing in a Cucking-stoole. I'l see thee hang'd first. Thou lyest againe. Nay Sir, you doe wrong to give a woman so many lies, Shee had rather have had twice so many standings, than One lye. I'l lye with him I'l warrant him. You'l be a whore then. Little lesse I promise you, if you lye with him. If you complaine upon mine honest Cuz, And that his father be offended with him, The next time I meete thee, though it be i'th' streete, durt upon thy velvet Cap; Nay worse, Plestaine thy Ruffe; nay worse than that, I'l doe thus: O my hart Gossip, do you see this? Was ever Woman thus abus'd? Me thinkes 'tis good sport y'faith. I, I am well recompenc'd to complaine to you, Had you such a kindred. I would rejoyce in't Gossip. Do so; choose herethen; Oh my hart! But I'l doe Your eand; Oh that my Nayles were not par'd! But I'l doe Your errand; Will you goe Gossip?