A New Wonder, A Woman Never Vexed · chunk 15 of 45
Heywood, Thomas / Rowley, William · published 1632 · first performed or written 1611 [1611-1614] (Annals) comedy · Unknown T45 Widows, wooing and remarriage typicality 0.87 · 481 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T45: widow, widows, hoord, master, gentlemen, wife, randalls, wit, mistress, married.
No Widow, I'll stand to no hazard of blind Bargains; either promise me marriage, and give Me earnest in a handfast, or I'll not budge A foot. No Sir, are you grown so stout already? I'll grow stouter when I am married. I hope thou'lt vex me. I'll give you cause I'll warrant you. I shall rail, and curse thee I hope; yet I'd Not have thee give over neither; for I would Be vexed; Here's my hand, I am thine, thou art mine, I'll have thee withal faults. You shall have one with some, and you have me, Here's witness, come hither Sir. cousin, I must call you shortly; and you sirrah, be witness to this match; here's Man and Wife. I joy at mine Uncle's happiness, Widow. I do forbid the Banes: Alas poor Shagragge, My Mistress does but gull him; you may Imagine it to be Twelve-day at night, and the Bean found in the corner of your Cake, but 'tis not worth a fetch I'll assure you. You'll let me dispose of myself, I hope. You love to be merry Mistress; Come, come, ve him foure Farthings, and let him goe. He'll pray for his good Dame, and be drunk; Why, if your blood does itch that way, we'll Stand together; how think you? I think here is the sweeter bit, you see this Nap, and you See this Louse, you may crack o' your choice, If you choose here. You have put me to my choice then; see, here I choose? This is my Husband: Thus I begin the Contract. 'Tis sealed, I am thine; now coz fear no black Storms; if thy father thunder, come to me for shelter. His word is now a deed, Sir. I thank you both. Uncle, what my joy conceives, I cannot utter yet. I will make black Monday of this: e'er I suffer This disgrace, the kennel shall run with blood and rags, Sir, I am your apposite. I have nothing to say to you, Sir; I aim at your Uncle He has no weapon. That's all one, I'll take him as I find him: I have taken him so before you, Sir; Will you be quiet. Thou shalt take me so too Hodge, for I'll be thy fellow, Though thy Mistress's Husband. Give me thy hand. I'll make you seek your fingers among the Dogs, If you come to me; my Fellow? You lousy Companion; I scorn thee. 'Sfoot, is't come to this? Have I stood all this while to my Mistress, an honest, Handsome, plain-dealing, serving-Creature; and she to Marry a Worson Tittere Tu tatter with never a good rag About him? Stand thou to me, and be my friend; and since My Mistress has forsaken me: How now? what's the matter? 'Twas well you came in good time. Why man? I was going the wrong way.
seed 43: T40 · seed 44: T40 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
No Widow, I'l stand to no hazard of blinde Bargaines; either promise me marriage, and give Me earnest in a handfast, or I'l not budge A foote. No Sir, are you growne so stout already? I'l grow stouter when I am marryed. I hope thou'lt vex me. I'l give you cause I'l warrant you. I shall rayle, and curse thee I hope; yet I'd Not have thee give over neither; for I would Be vext; Here's my hand, I am thine, thou art mine, I'l have thee withall faults. You shall have one with some, and you have mee, Here's witnesse, come hither Sir. Cozin, I must call you shortly; and you Sitra, be witnesse to this match; here's Man and Wife. I joy at mine Vncles happinesse, Widdow. I doe forbid the Banes: Alas poore Shagragge, My Mistris does but gull him; you may Imagine it to be T welfe-day at night, and the Beane found in the corner of your Cake, but Tis not worth a fetch I'l assure you. You'l let me dispose of my selfe, I hope. You love to be merry Mistris; Come, come, ve him foure Farthings, and let him goe. He'l pray for his good Dame, and be drunke; Why, if your blood does itch that way, we'l Stand together; how thinke you? I thinke here the sweeter bit, you see this Nap, and you See this Lowse, you may cracke o' your choyse, If you choose here. You have put me to my choyse then; see, here I choose? This is my Husband: Thus I begin the Contract. 'Tis seal'd, I am thine; now Cuz feare no blacke Stormes; if thy father thunder, come to me for shelter. His word is now a deede, Sir. I thanke you both. Vncle, what my joy conceives, I cannot utter yet. I will make blacke Munday of this: e'r I suffer This disgrace, the kennell shall run with blood and rags, Sir, I am your apposite. I have nothing to say to you, Sir; I ayme at your Vncle He has no weapon. That's all one, I'l take him as I finde him: I have taken him so before you, Sir; Will you be quiet. Thou shalt take me so too Hodge, for I'l be thy fellow, Though thy Mistrisses Husband. Give me thy hand. I'l make you seeke your fingers among the Dogs, If you come to me; my Fellow? You lowsie Companion; I scorne thee. S'foote, is't come to this? Have I stood all this while to my Mistris, an honest, Hansome, plaine-dealing, serving-Creature; and she to Marry a Worson Tittere Tu Tattere with never a good rag About him? Stand thou to me, and be my friend; and since My Mistris has forsaken me: How now? what's the matter? 'Twas well you came in good time. Why man? I was goingthe wrong way.