A New Wonder, A Woman Never Vexed · chunk 16 of 45
Heywood, Thomas / Rowley, William · published 1632 · first performed or written 1611 [1611-1614] (Annals) comedy · Unknown unassigned nearest T16 Gallantry: ladies, lordships and complim · 480 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T16: lady, madam, gentleman, lordship, ladies, honour, mistress, sweet, court, servant.
But tell me one thing, I apprehend not; Why didst Lay thy Cap upon the sword's point? Dost not thou know the reason of that? why, 'twas To save my belly: dost thou think I am so mad to Cast myself away for e'er a woman of'em all, I'll see 'em hanged first. Come Roger, will you go? Well, since there is no remedy, Oh tears be you my friend! Nay, prithee Roger do not cry. I cannot choose; nay I will steep Mine eyes in crying tears, and crying weep. GEntlemen, y'are welcome; that once well pronounced Has a thousand Echoes; Let it suffice, I have spoke It to the full: here's your affairs, here's your merchandise, This is your prize, if you can mix your names and gentle Bloods with the poor Daughter of a Citizen. I make the passage free, to greet and court, Traffic the mart of love, clap hands and strike The bargain through, (she pleased) and I shall like. 'Tis good ware believe me, Sir, I know that by mine Own experience; for I have handled the like Many times in my first wife's days, ay, by Knighthood, Sometimes before I was married too; therefore I Know't by mine own experience. Well Sir, I know by observation, as much as you do By experience; for I have known many Gentlemen Have taken up such ware as this is, but it has lain On their hands as long as they lived; this I Have seen by observation. I am like to have a couple of fair Chapmen: If they were at my own dispose, I would Willingly rifle them both at twelve pence a share; they Would be good food for a new plantation; the Tone might mend his experience; and the other his Observation very much. Sir, let me advise you: I see you want experience, Meddle no further in this case, 't'willbe the More credit for your observation; for I find by my Experience, you are but shallow. But shallow Sir? Your experience is a little wide; You shall find I willbe as deep in this case as yourself; my observation has been, where your Experience must wait at door; yet I will Give you the fore Horse place, and I willbe in the Fills, because you are the elder Tree, and I the Young Plant; put on your experience, and I will Observe. Sweet Virgin, to be prolix and tedious, fits no Experience; short words and large deeds are Best pleasing to women. So, Sir. My name is Speedwell, by my father's Copy. Then you never served for't it seems. Yes, sweet Feminine, I have served for it too: For I have found my nativity suited to my name, As my name is Speedwell, so have I sped Well in divers actions. It must needs be a fair and comely suit then.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
But tell me one thing, I apprehend not; Why didst Lay thy Cap upon the swords point? Do'st not thou know the reason of that? why, 'twas To save my belly: dost thou thinke I am so mad to Cast my selfe away for e'r a woman of'm all, I'l see 'm hang'd first. Come Roger, will you goe? Well, since there is no remedy, Oh teares bee you my friend! Nay, prethee Roger doe not cry. I cannot choose; nay I will steepe Mine eyes in crying teares, and crying weepe. GEntlemen, y'are welcome; that once well pronounc'd Has a thousand Ecchoes; Let it suffice, I have spoke It to the full: here's your affaires, here's your merchandize, This is your prise, if you can mix your names and gentle Bloods with the poore Daughter of a Cittizen. I make the passage free, to greete and court, Traffique the mart of love, clap hands and strike The bargaine through, (she pleas'd) and I shall like. 'Tis good ware believe me, Sir, I know that by mine Owne experience; for I have handled the like Many times in my first wives dayes, I, by Knighthood, Sometimes before I was marryed too; therefore I Know't by mine owne experience. Well Sir, I know by observation, as much as you doe By experience; for I have knowne many Gentlemen Have taken up such ware as this is, but it has lyen On their hands as long as they liv'd; this I Have seene by observation. I am like to have a couple of faire Chapmen: If they were at my owne dispose, I would Willingly rifle them both at twelve pence a share; they Would be good foode for a new plantation; the Tone might mend his experience; and the other his Observation very much. Sir, let me advise you: I see you want experience, Meddle no further in this case, 'twilbe the More credit for your observation; for I finde by my Experience, you are but shallow. But shallow Sir? Your experience is a little wide; You shall finde I wilbe as deepe in this case as Your selfe; my observation has bin, where your Experience must waite at doore; yet I will Give you the fore Horse place, and I wilbe in the Fill's, because you are the elder Tree, and I the Young Plant; put on your experience, and I will Observe. Sweete Virgin, to be prolix and ted ious, fits Experience; short words and large deedes are Best pleasing to women. So, Sir. My name is Speedwell, by my fathers Coppy. Then you never serv'd for't it seemes. Yes, sweete Feminine, I have serv'd for it too: For I have found my nativity suited to my name, As my name is Speedwel, so have I sped Well in divers actions. It must needes be a faire and comely suit then.