A New Wonder, A Woman Never Vexed · chunk 30 of 45
Heywood, Thomas / Rowley, William · published 1632 · first performed or written 1611 [1611-1614] (Annals) comedy · Unknown unassigned nearest T13 Knights, squires and ladies · 490 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T13: knight, raph, lady, knights, george, master, squire, rafe, pray, god.
Ha? do you know us, Sir? You grow too bold; My experience now hath found you; You were once a tattered fellow, your name is Foster; have you such gold to give? Yes, yes, has won it betting at the bowling Alleys, O at the Pigeon-holes in the Garden Alleyes. You are muddy Grooms to upbraid me with that scorn, Which virtue now gilds over; Pray ye Gentlemen May I request your names. Our names are in the Herald's books I warrant you My name is Innocent Lambskin; and this Knight, Simply though he stands here, is known to be Sir Godfrey Speedwell. Well may he Speed Sir; Lambskin and Speedwell, Ha? Is't so? I think I shall give you a medicine To purge this itch of love, Sir. No itch neither Sir, we have no scabs here, But yourself and your cousin. Very good Sir, my little Lambskin. I have you Here in Sheepskin; look you, 'tis so i'faith. See, Master Alderman, these two cracked Gallants Are in several bonds to my Predecessor For a debt of full two thousand apiece. cousin, fetch me a Sergeant strait. Yes Sir. O let him, I have a protection, Sir. I'll try that, Sir. A Sergeant? Nay, than experience must work, Legs be strong and bold; when Sergeants wait At feasts, the cheer's but cold. I'll shift for one. Knight, knight; 'Sfoot if an errand Knight Run away, I were an errand Ass to tarry, And be catched in the limebush: I love the Wench well; but if they have no hole to Place me in, but the hole in the Counter, I'll be gone and leave ''em; that's flat You have scared the suitors from the mark, Sir. I am glad on't Sir; they are but such as seek To build their rotten state on you, and with your Wealth to underprop their weakness; Believe me, reverend Sir, I had much rather You'd venture that my coz might call you father. We'll talk of that anon; See Sir, Here comes your wife, the theme Of all her time, with goodness mixed, the happy Woman that was never vexed; y'are welcome Mrs Foller. I thank ye Sir. Wife, your two debtors were here but now; And Lambskin; A Wolf could not have torn Poore Lambskin worse, than the bare name Of a Serjeant: the very thought made them both To take their heels and run away. 'Las, they are poor and lean, and being so; Kill them not till they are fatter. At thy girdle, Sweet, hangs the keys, to Lock the prison doors or let them lose: 'Twas my intent only in way of mirth to Rid them from the presence of Mistress Iane, That our adopted son might have no bar Unto his love. The match is fair; and were that knot once tied, I'd send some Angels to attend the bride. Sir, here's your factor. Are the wares ready.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Ha? doe you know us, Sir? You grow too bold; My experience now hath found you; You were once a tatter'd fellow, your name is Foster; have you such gold to give? Yes, yes, has won it betting at the bowling Alleyes, O at the Pigeon-holes in the Garden Alleyes. You are uddy Groomes to upbraid mee with that scorne, Which vertue now gilds over; Pray yee Gentlemen May I request your names. Our names are in the Heralds bookes I warrant you My name is Innocent Lambskin; and this Knight, Simply though he stands here, is knowne to be Sir Godfry Speedewell. Well may he Speede Sir; Lambskin and Speedewell, Ha? Is't so? I thinke I shall give you a medicine To purge this itch of love, Sir. No itch neither Sir, we have no scabs here, But your selfe and your Cozin. Very good Sir, my little Lambskin. I have you Here in Sheepeskin; looke you, 'tis so y'faith. See, Master Alderman, these two crackt Gallants Are in severall bonds to my Predecessor For a debt of full two thousand apiece. Cozin, fetch me a Serjeant straite. Yes Sir. O let him, I have a protection, Sir. I'l try that, Sir. A Serjeant? Nay, then experience must worke, Legs be strong and bold; when Serjeants waite At feasts, the cheere's but cold. I'l shift for one. Knight, knight; S'foote if an errand Knight Run away, I were an arrand Asse to tarry, And be catch'd in the lime-bush: I love the Wench well; but if they have no hole to Place me in, but the hole in the Counter, I'l be goue and leave'm; that's flat You have scar'd the suitors from the marke, Sir. I am glad on't Sir; they are but such as seeke To build their rotten state on you, and with your Wealth to underprop their weakenesse; Believe me, reverend Sir, I had much rather You'd venter that my Cuz might call you father. We'l talke of that anon; See Sir, Here comes your wife, the theame Of all her e, with goodnesse mixt, the happy Woman that was never vext; y'are welcome Ms Foller. I thanke yee Sir. Wife, your two debtors were here but now; And Lambskin; A Wolfe could not have torne Lambskin worse, than the bare name Serjeant: the very thought made them both take their heeles and run away. 'Las, they are poore and leane, and being so; them not till they are fatter. At thy girdle, Sweete, hangs the keyes, to the prison dores or let them loose: my intent onely in way of mirth to them from the presence of Mistris Iane, That our adopted son might have no bar Vnto his love. The match is faire; and were that knot once tyed, send some Augels to attend the bride. Sir, here's your factor. Are the wares ready.