Marmion, Shackerley · published 1632 · first performed or written 1631 [Dec] (Annals) comedy · Prince Charles's Men (second) · Salisbury Court unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 508 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
O they are still in fashion: in them A wry neck is a comely precedent: Disorder, disagreement in their lives And manners is thought regular, their actions Are still authentic, if it be received; To be illiterate, is a point of state. But the worst thing which I dislike in him, Which he does more by words then action: He gives out that the Ladies dote upon him, And that he can command them at his pleasure, And swears, there's scarce an honest woman. How. It is not well to say so, but by this light, I am of his mind too. You are deceived, There are a thousand chaste. There was an age When Iuno was a maid, and Jove had no beard, When miserable Atlas was not oppressed With such a sort of deities, and each Dined by himself: before Ushers and Pages Swarmed so, and Banquets, and your Masques came up Riding in Coaches, visiting, and Titles, So many Plays, and Puritan preachings, That women might be chaste; now 'tis impossible: Now should I find such a prodigious faith, I'd honour't with a sacrifice. 'tis ill To be incredulous, when charity Exacts your belief: but let that pass: What will you say, if I find out a means To cure him of his folly? Then I pronounce The destruction of Bedlam, and all mad folks Shall be thy patients. Nay, I'll do it: I'll make him in love, and do it. That's a cure Worse than any disease. I can as soon Believe a fire may be extinct with oil, Or a Fever cooled with drinking of Sack. Suspend your judgement, till I confirm you. No more, stand by, here comes the Parasite. That is Narcissus, and this is his Echo. What is he? One that feeds all men's humours that feed him, Can apprehend their jests, before they speak them, And with a forced laughter play the Midwife. To bring them forth, and carries still in store A Plaudite, when they break wind, or urine. He fits his Master right, although he ne'er Took measure of him, and though he has not been Far from home, yet will lie like a Traveller. he'll rather vex you with officiousness Than you shall pass unsaluted: his business Is only to be busy, and his tongue's still walking, Though himself be one of the worst movables: A confused lump leavened with knavery. Stand by a little, and let's hear his discourse. IEffry come hither. Sir, I wait upon you. Ieffry, you know that I have ever been Indulgent to your knaveries. I thank your worship, you have ever been my friend. Winked at your faults. True. And the reason is. Because I still am welcome to thy wife. Your worship may be welcome there at all times. Honest Ieffry, thou shalt lose nothing by it. You know my authority in the house: my Lord Puts all the care into my hands, has left me The managing of his estate, because I know the way to humour him.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
O they are ſtill in faſhion: in them A wry necke is a comely preſident: Diſorder, diſagreement in their lives And manners is thought regular, their actions Are ſtill authenticke, if it be receiv'd; To be illiterate, is a point of ſtate. But the worſt thing which I diſlike in him, Which he does more by words then action: He gives out that the Ladies dote upon him, And that he can command them at his pleaſure, And ſwears, there's ſcarce an honeſt woman. How. It is not well to ſay ſo, but by this light, I am of his minde too. You are deceiv'd, There are a thouſand chaſte. There was an age When Iuno was a maide, and Iov had no beard, When miſerable Atlas was not oppreſt With ſuch a ſort of Dieties, and each Din'd by himſelfe: before Vſhers and Pages Swarm'd ſo, and Banquets, and your Maſques came up Riding in Coaches, viſiting, and Titles, So many Playes, and Puritan preachings, That women might be chaſte; now 'tis impoſſible: Now ſhould I finde ſuch a prodigious faith, I'de honour't with a ſacrifice. Tis ill To be incredulous, when charity Exacts your beleefe: but let that paſſe: What will you ſay, if I finde out a meanes To cure him of his folly? Then I pronounce The deſtruction of Bedlam, and all mad folkes Shall be thy patients. Nay, I'll doe it: I'll make him in love, and doe it. That's a cure Worſe then any diſeaſe. I can as ſoone Beleeve a fire may be extinct with oyle, Or a Fever coold with drinking of Sacke. Suſpend your judgement, till I confirme you. No more, ſtand by, here comes the Paraſite. That is Narciſſus, and this is his Eccho. What is he? One that feeds all mens humors that feed him, Can apprehend their ieſts, before they ſpeake them, And with a forced laughter play the Midwife. To bring them forth, and carries ſtill in ſtore A Plaudite, when they breake wind, or urine. He fits his Maſter right, although he nere Tooke meaſure of him, and though he has not beene Farre from home, yet will lye like a Traveller. Hee'll rather vex you with officiouſneſſe Then you ſhall paſſe unſaluted: his buſineſſe Is onely to be buſie, and his tongue's ſtill walking, Though himſelfe be one of the worſt moveables: A confus'd lumpe leavened with knavery. Stand by a little, and let's heare his diſcourſe. IEffry come hither. Sir, I wait upon you. Ieffry, you know that I have ever beene Indulgent to your knaveries. I thanke your worſhip, you haue euer beene my friend. Wink'd at your faults. True. And the reaſon is. Becauſe I ſtill am welcome to thy wife. Your worſhip may be welcome there at all times. Honeſt Ieffry, thou ſhalt loſe nothing by it. You know my authority in the houſe: my Lord Puts all the care into my hands, has left mee The managing of his eſtate, becauſe I know the way to humour him.