Hausted, Peter · published 1632 · first performed or written 1632 [Mar 19] (Annals) comedy · before the Court T27 Uncles, nephews and cousins: kinship and typicality 0.72 · 472 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T27: uncle, niece, nephew, gentlemen, faith, cousin, wife, house, gentleman, money.
Yet? I've done. Then hear; it seems that Dorothea My Uncle's wife, some seventeen years ago Supposing she had been with child, provided Such necessaries for her, as a woman That is in her estate might stand in need of; 'Twas famed about the Country: but at last She found herself deluded by a tympany, But fearing lest she should prove the table talk o'th' country, Takes counsel with Placenta for to feign A birth, and to that end employeth her (Being a Midwife) to procure for money, The Child of some poor woman new delivered. At the same time it fortuned Anteros That your mother cried for Inno's help, Which she obtained, and was delivered Of this your Sister, whom when she perceived To be deformed, and distort; at length She was overcome by th' Midwife for to part With her new purchased Infant, 'twas agreed, And the birth straight given out to be abortive, And which is more, believed, and for to colour The matter o'er the better, they did bury An empty coffin. In the mean time your sister Was secretly conveyed unto my Aunt, Who presently did feign to be in travail, And was delivered in conceit of Her, Who but a while ago was called your wife. 'twas not long after, but the brace of mothers Did travail both together to the dead, And left my uncle a supposed daughter. You have the history. And with it heaven, And immortality: O Loveall, Loveall; By all the Deities I could embrace thee For this thy happy news, were't thou a woman. But what's become of all your promises? O 'tis a taste, a spice of greatness, Jack, To promise. And to perform just nothing. You do not hear me say so. What's the matter? But see the wooers are discarded quite My uncle beats them out of doors. You villains— Out of my house ye brood of caterpillars.— Son of a hedge and Moonshine; go— fie, fie, O misery beyond— come out you rascal, And bring your piping nose along with you;— A fire upon this hollow ruff of yours, 'Tis like your heart— out rogues, and ruffians— O I am undone.— Ha, ha, he. Loveall, these men are mine; I am the Patron of the living now, Dost thou see this? I heard as much within. I will behave myself most scurvily, Like to some surly crabbed Patron now, That has some 6, or 7 tired horses tied At's door. How now? Patron. What says my Client? Loveall, I pray thee catechise this box, there's good stuff in 't I warrant thee. Good Patron. Hear me Sir, I'll dispatch it in three words, This is a tedious Ass, and readeth nought But English Treatises. Sir, will it please you To take particular notice?— Sir. But Patron— Patron.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: T37 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Yet? I'ue done. Then heare; it ſeem's that Dorothaea My Vncles wife, ſome ſeuenteene yeares agoe Suppoſing ſhee had beene with childe, prouided Such neceſſaries for her, as a woman That is in her eſtate might ſtand in neede of; 'Twas fam'd about the Country: but at laſt She found her ſelfe deluded by a tympany, But fearing leſt ſhe ſhould prove the table talke o'th countrey, Takes counſell with Placenta for to faigne A birth, and to that ende employeth her (Being a Midwife) to procure for money, The Childe of ſome poore woman new deliver'd. At the ſame time it fortun'd Anteros That your mother cryed for Innos helpe, Which ſhe obtayned, and was deliver'd Of this your Siſter, whom when ſhe perceiv'd To be deformed, and diſtort; at length She was or'ecome by th' Midwife for to part With her new purchac'd Infant, t'was agreed, And the birth ſtraight given out to be abortive, And which is more, beleev'd, and for to colour The matter o're the better, they did bury An empty coffin. In the meane time your ſiſter Was ſecretly convey'd vnto my Aunt, VVho preſently did faigne to be in travaile, And was deliver'd in conceit of Her, VVho but a while agoe vvas call'd your wife. T'was not long after, but the brace of mothers Did travaile both together to the dead, And left my vncle a ſuppoſed daughter. You have the hiſtory. And with it heaven, And immortality: O Loveall, Loveall; By all the Deityes I could embrace thee For this thy happy newes, wer't thou a vvoman. But whats become of all your promiſes? O tis a taſte, a ſpice of greatneſſe, Iacke, To promiſe. And to performe iuſt nothing. You doe not heare me ſay ſo. VVhat's the matter? But ſee the wooers are diſcarded quite My vncle beates them out of doores. You villaines— Out of my houſe yee brood of caterpillers.— Sonne of a hedge and Moone-ſhine; goe—fy, fy, fy. O miſery beyond— come out you raſcall, And bring your piping noſe along with you; — A fire upon this hollow ruffe of yours, 'Tis like your heart—out rogues, and ruffians— O I am undone.— Ha, ha, he. Loveall, theſe men are mine; I am the Patron of the living now, Doſt thou ſee this? I heard as much within. I will behave myſelfe moſt ſcurvily, Like to ſome ſurly crabbed Patron now, That has ſome 6, or 7 tyr'd horſes tyed At dore. How now? Patron. What ſayes my Client? Loveall, I pray thee catechize this box, Ther's good ſtuffe in 't I warrant thee. Good Patron. Heare me Sir, I'le diſpatch it in three words, This is a tedious Aſſe, and readeth nought But Engliſh Treatiſes. Sir, will it pleaſe you To take particular notice?— Sir. But Patron— Patron.