Glapthorne, Henry · published 1640 · first performed or written 1638 [1636-1638; revised 1639] (Annals) not in BritDrama · Phoenix/Cockpit unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 526 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
I admire How he retains these Author's names, of which He understands no syllable, 'twere better I bought the Authentic Legend of Sir Bevis, Some six new Ballads and the famous Poems Writ by the learned waterman. Iohn Taylor, get me his nonsense. You mean all his works sir. And a hundred of Booker's new Almanacs. And the devil to boot, Your father's books in which he keeps th' accounts Of all his coin will scarce yield crowns to afford Your fancy volumes: why you have already Enough to furnish a new Vatican, A hundred country pedants can read dictates To their young pupils out of Seton's logic, Or Golius Ethics, and make them arrive, Proficients learned enough in one bare twelvemonth To instruct the parish they were borne in: you Out of an itch to this same foolish learning Bestow more money yearly upon books: Then would for convert sisters build an almshouse. You will displease my patience Tristram. I speak truth: if you should want, your learning scarce would make you Capable of being town clerk, or at best, To be a famous Tyrant unto boys, And wear out birch upon them: or perchance you may arrive to be the City Poet, And find the little moisture of your brain To grace a Lord mayor's festival with shows, Alluding to his trade, or to the company Of which he's free, these are the best preferments That can attend your learning. I say Tristram, the spirit of my learning stirs me up To give thee due correction. Would you study? as does young Thorowgood your noble Cosen, Not books, but men which are true living volumes: You would like him, be held rich i'th' esteem Of all the illustrious wits that deck the city When the extent of your admirers is Confined to fresh men: and such youths as only Know how to frame a syllogism in Darij, And make the ignorant believe by Logic The Moons made of a Holland Cheese: and the man in't. A swag-bellied Dutch Burger Cosen Holdfast, a good day attend Thy learned pia mater: prithee tell me How do the Cabalists and ancient Rabbins And thou agree? will they be sociable, And drink their morning's draught of Helicon With thee: have they instructed you to prove yet That the world runs on wheels? or that the sea May be drunk off by a shoal of Whales? such things You know there are in nature. O far stranger. Peace you bookworm, Fit only to devour more paper than A thousand grand tobacco men or a legion Of boys in pellets to their eldern guns. Dost think to live this life still? you're not now Amongst your eves at Cambridge, but in London, Come up to see your mistress beauteous Clare, The glory of the city: go and court her, As does become a gentleman of carriage, Without your Tropes and figures inkhorn terms, Fit only for a mountebank or Pedant, Or all your Physics Metaphysics and Meteors, (Tomes larger far and more replete with lies, Than Surius, Gallobelgicus, or the welsh Bard Geoffrey Monmouth) shall be straightway made Pitiful Martyrs.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
I admire How he retaines these Auhors names, of which He understands no sillable, 'twere better I bought the Authenticke Legend of Sir Bevis, Some six new Ballads and the famous Poems Writ by the learned waterman. Iohn Taylor, get me his nonsense. You meane all his workes sir. And a hundred of Bookers new Almanacks. And the divell to boot, Your fathers bookes in which he keeps th accounts Of all his coyne will scarce yield crowns to afford Your fancy volums: why you have already Enough to furnish a new Vatican, A hundred country pedants can read dictats To their young pupills out of Setons logicke, Or Golius Ethicks, and make them arrive, Proficients learn'd enough in one bare twelmonth To instruct the parish they were borne in: you Out of an itch to this same foolish learning Bestow more money yearely upon bookes: Then would for convert sisters build an almes-hose. You will displease my patience Tristram. I speake truth: if you shud want, your learning scarce would make you Capable of being town Cleark, or at best, To be a famous Tyrant unto boyes, And weare out birch upon them: or perchance you may arrive to be the City Poet, And fnd the little moysture of your braine To grace a Lord Maiors festivall with showes, Alluding to his trade, or to the company Of which he's free, these are the best preferments That can attend your learning. I say Tristram, the spirit of my learning stirs me up To give thee due correction. Would you study? as does young Thorowgood your noble Cosen, Not bookes, but men which are true living volums: You would like him, be held rich ith' esteeme Of all the illustrious wits that decke the city When the extent of your admirers is Confinde to fresh men: and such youths as only Know how to frame a syllogisme in Darij, And make the ignorant believe by Logicke The Moones made of a Holland Cheese: and the man in't. A swagbellied Dutch Burger Cosen Holdfast, a good day attend Thy learned piamater: prithee tell me How doe the Cabalists and antient Rabbins And thou agree? will they be sociable, And drinke their mornings draught of Helicon With thee: have they instructed you to prove yet That the world runs on wheeles? or that the sea May be drunke off by a shole of Whales? such things You know there are in nature. O far stranger. Peace you booke-worme, Fit only to devour more paper then A thousand grand tobacco men or a legion Of boyes in pellets to their elderne gunnes. Dost thinke to live this life still? you're not now Amongst your eues at Cambridge, but in London, Come up to see your mistris beautious Clare, The glory of the city: goe and court her, As does become a gentleman of carriage, Without your Tropes and figures Inkehorne termes, Fit only for a Mountebanke or Pedant, Or all your Physickes Metaphysickes and Meteors, (Tomes larger farre and more repleate with lies, Then Surius, Gallo-Belgcus, or the welsh Bard Geffrey Monmouth) shl be straight-way made Pitifull Martyrs.