Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 4 of 68
Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals) satire; dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 472 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
Alas! not yet, I am not able to endure it, I faint. He is even that is to say. Ha. Ha. Hae. O my heart: not yet. A pennyworth of Aquavita, if I shall live. Hold, hold: thou shalt have it presently: 'tis at my tongue's end. Well, say on. If my senses fail not, I'll hear you. He loves nobody then, and nobody loves him. And thus thou seest there's no odds, but all even. What a jest is this? there's an even reckoning with the devils name. You shall be hanged before I'll torment myself with desire to hear any more of your knavish tricks. I'll be sworn I had like to marred all. It wrought with me like a purgation. It has given me a treble stool at once, though I find no fault. I have it hot, and worse than any perfuming pan in the world. You scurvy fellow, an 'twere no for losing land I have not marvel though a man must be sick at heart (I swear) and study so hard, and strain my wits to reach the reason of this riddle. I am sure I did overshoot it 40. yards, and had like to put a dozen cases, how these two cases might well enough have stood together in one subject salva conscientia, taken out of Scotus, and Thomas Aquinas, fully resolved by them; but still I doubted I should fall short: therefore I thought better to conceal them: and now dost thou gull me thus grossly? Ha. Ha. Hae. An thou be a good fellow rehearse three or four of these cases thou hadst like to have produced; and let's judge how fitly they had been applied if need had been. To what end? for thee to mock me more? you may command: but if I were willing, thou hast now put them quite out of my mind, I know not where to begin. I think so. Thou were pockily distempered. will't please you to proceed? let's hear some more of your goodly squires conditions. Thirdly. When he means to ride to his countryhouse, he goes three days before to some grooms at court. And if from them he learn any news (if it be but of a posy given the king of France by his nurse, or that a fisher man sailing by the Bermoothes saw a fire at singing of a hog) this carries him scotfree to all the gentlemen's houses of his acquaintance situate, set, lying, & being within seven miles of the high way of any side until at length he set foot at his own stable door pecunijs numeratis remaining entire in his right pocket. And the like he can do retrogrado to London, but by variety of friends because the same news may be news forward and backward.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Alas! not yet▪ I am not able to endure it, I faint. He is euen that is to say. Ha. Ha. Hae. O my heart: not yet. A penieworth of Aquauit, if I shall liue. Hold, hold: thou shalt haue it presently: tis at my tongues end. Well, say on. If my sences faile not, Ile heare you. He loues no body then, ad no body loues him. And thus thou seest there's no oddes, but all eauen. What a jest is this? there's an eauen reckoning with the diuels name. You shall be hang'd before Ile torment my selfe with desire to heare any more of your knauish tricks. Ile besworne I had like to mar'd all. It wrought with me like a purgation. It has giuen mee a treble stoole at once, though I find no fault. I haue it hot▪ and worse then any perfuming pan in the world. You scuruy fellow, an twere no for loosing land I haue not maruaile though a man must be sicke at heart (I sweare) and study so hard, and straine my wits to reach the reaon of this riddle. I am sure I did ouershoot it 40. yards, and had like to put a dozen cases, how these two cases might well enough haue stood together in one subiect salua conscientia, taken out of Scotus, and Thomas Aquinas, fully resolu'd by them; but still I doubted I should fall short: therefore I thought better to conceale them: and now doest thou gull me thus grossely? Ha. Ha. Hae. An thou be a good fellow rehears thre or foure of these cases thou hadst like to haue produced; and let's iudge how fitly they had beene applyed if neede had beene. To what end? for thee to mocke mee more? you may command: but if I were willing, thou hast now put them quite out of my minde, I know not where to beginne. I thinke so. Thou were pockily distempered. Wil't please you to proceede? let's heare some more of your goodly squires conditions. Thirdly. When he meanes to ride to his countteyhouse, he goes three daies before to some groomes at court. And if from them he leatne any newes (if it be but of a posy given the king of Fraunce by his nurse, or that a fisher man sayling by the Barmoothes saw a fire at singing of a hog) this carries him scot-free to all the gentlemens houses of his acquaintance scituate, set, lying, & being within seaven miles of the high way of any side vntill at length he set foot at his owne stable dore pecunijs numeratis remaining entire in his right pocket. And the like he can doe retrogrado to London, but by variety of friends because the same newes may be newes forward and backward.