Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 13 of 68
Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals) satire; dialogue unassigned nearest T52 Prodigals, portions and poor kin · 534 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T52: brother, father, uncle, cousin, son, poor, bread, old, given, master.
Reason me no reasons. I speak as I think, I protest from my heart I had rather do any work in the world then die. What? never come home again to my wife, and my pretty barns? Why, I have a boy, his name is Jack; he has a face as well-favoured as any great turnip root, with a crack in the midst, which is the very proportion of his mouth. I will not willingly leave that boy for all the deaths in the world. No I will not. But if I must needs die whether I will or no, I wood have death take me asleep, that I may not see his face, for if I did I would run away as hard as ever I could for my life. Mr Acuto talk with me, he speaks like a fool. I have more wit than twenty such loggerheads. Nay, than I have more wit than thou canst get: for I can make my horses turn up the ground, and thou must do it with thy hands and feet, else thou canst earn no money. Come neighbour Vulcano, we two wise men will leave these two to play the fools here until our turn come again. Now Acuto, let us two conclude what shall become of these holidays, and as we agree, I warrant it shall go. And thou hast almost persuaded me to let them stand. But let us go and read a book I have at home of the lives of Saints to furnish us with stronger reasons against our next encounter with these Dunces, and then we will end this controversy. How think you by this S. Hermito? would you have imagined that such plain fellows as these be, should call a business of this nature in question? By this you may may guess what stirring heads we have to deal withal, and how easy a matter to keep them in order. It is somewhat strange. And the more unlearned the men are, the harder to be satisfied. But he hope is, that as mad men do best service when some of their like are most unruly, so these men being alike unskilful will soon confound each other, and so give over the business. It is not unknown to me that very many do censure my deeds as wicked and not beseeming a Christian. But this is the iniquity of the time, because they do not distinguish between persons and seasons. For my actions being not ordinary, are not to be judged by ordinary, but refined wits. For now your down right dealing is exploded, as too subject to every mean capacity. Yonder is thy master that shallbe (Simplo) thou shalt lose no time, we'll to him suddenly. signior Antonio. All hail to your person. Here is a man desires to serve you; to be your pupil; to imitate your actions so near as his vessel can hold the print. And he will do well. For he is made all of wax, very pliant, empty of all things, but a little money and a tenement or two of land lying next your freehold on the south side, worth 10l per annum.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Reason me no reasons▪ I speake as I thinke, I protest from my heart I had rather doe any worke in the world then dye. What? never come home againe to my wife, and my pretie barnes? Why, I haue a boy, his name is Iacke; hee has a face as welfavor'd as any great turnippe root, with a cracke in the mid'st, which is the very proportion of his mouth. I will not willingly leaue that boy for all the deaths in the world. No I will not. But if I must needs dye whether I will or no, I wood haue death take mee asleepe, that I may not see his face, for if I did I would run away as hard as ever I could for my life. Mr Acuto talke with me, hee speakes like a foole. I haue more wit then twentie such loggerheads. Nay, then I haue more wit then thou canst get▪ for I can make my horses turne vp the ground, and thou must doe it with thy hands and feet, else thou canst earne no mony. Come neighbour Vulcano, we two wise men will leaue these two to play the fooles here vntill our urne come againe. Now Acuto▪ let vs two conclude what shall become of these holydaies, and as we agree, I warrant it shall goe. And thou hast almost perswaded me to let them stand. But let vs goe and read a booke I haue at home of the liues of Saints to furnish vs with stronger reasons against our next encounter with these Dunce, and then wee will end this controversie. How thinke you by this S. Hermito? would you haue imagined that such plaine fellowes as these be, should call a businesse of this nature in question? By this you may may gesse what stirring heads we haue to deale withall, and how easie a matter to keepe them in order. It is somewhat strange. And the more vnlearned the men are, the harder to be satisfied. But he hope is, that as mad men doe best service when some of their like are most vnruly, so these men being alike vnskilfull will soone confound each other, and so giue over the businesse. It is not vnknowne to mee that very many doe censure my deeds as wicked and not beseeming a Christian. But this is the iniquitie of the time, because they doe not distinguish between persons and seasons. For my actions being not ordinary, are not to be iudged by ordinary, but refined wits. For now your downe right dealing is exploded, as too subiect to every meane capacitie. Yonder is thy master that shalbe (Simplo▪ ) thou shalt lose no time, weele to him sodainely. Segnieur Antonis. All haile to your person. Here is a man desires to serue you; to be your pupill; to imitate your actions so neere as his vessell can hold the print. And he will doe well. For hee is made all of wax, very pliant, emptie of all thing▪ a little mony and a tenement or two of land lying next your freehold on the south side, worth 10l per annum.