Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 15 of 68
Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals) satire; dialogue unassigned nearest T35 Fools, wit and railing · 503 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T35: fool, wit, aristippus, achilles, wise, fools, patroclus, thersites, master, men.
That I will be sure to do. Thus then. Hi-sto-ri. Stay there. Now gape (he gapes & Hortano looks in his mouth) let's tell, how many teeth ha' you? 22. hough, who's within there? a pair of pincers. What to do? Why to pull two teeth out a your mouth for I ha' but just 20. And what of that? marry because you'll ha' me say it just as you do, & that I cannot except you & I have the like number of teeth. ay, and I'll measure your tongue, that if it be longer than mine it may be cut even: for it is my duty being a gardener, to do all by line and level. That's no matter: so that you utter the syllables full as I do. Yes I make no question, though I lack a few teeth but I can swallow a syllabub as full as you. A syllabub. I did not speak of a syllabub. No? that you did. I'll be judged by all this company. No such matter. I said you must observe every syllable. Go too then. I wool: up with it once again. Canst thou tell what a syllable is? No, not I more than my dog. How wilt thou observe them then if thou know not a syllable? Let me alone for that: I'll make a shift. Do you say the word, and if there be ere a one there, I'll find him I warrant you. Ere a one there man? why the word is framed of many syllables. Very well: how should I miss them then? turn me lose. I'll take it as soon as it peeps out of thy mouth as parats do bread and butter. Come then mark well, His-to-ri-o-gra-phers. I'll lay ten pound to nothing, I'll not miss a straw's breadth, Historiographers. That's right indeed. la, did not I tell you so? Nay you never had an apter scholar in your life than I am: 'twool do you good to teach me. I am glad of it: this was soon learned indeed: now put together, and speak it short as I did. I will: but you need not doubt that it's safe, & will never be lost. But to satisfy you I'll do it, and that quickly, Histor-cockafurrs. Who: the longer the worse. This is your fault: that wood ha' me say it so fast: & 'tis a very scurvy word to hit, except a man have a mouth made thereafter. I think you are fasting today, and that hinders your speech: go play and fill your belly▪ and we'll at it again soon. Thanks gentle Master: and the next time you teach me, we'll do it very closely an't please you. For I do not mean to be very lavish of my learning, when it shall be at the biggest in no company but yours. So do all cunning folks: be dainty of your skill, or else you shall never be entreated at first, nor thanked at last.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
That I will be sure to doe. Thus then. Hi-sto-ri. Stay there. Now gape (he gapes & Hortano looks in his mouth) lets tell, how many teeth ha you? 22. hough, whoos within there? a paire of pincers. What to doe? Why to pull two teeth out a your mouth for I ha but iust 20. And what of that? Mary because youle ha me say it iust as you doe, & that I cannot except you & I haue the like number of teeth. I, and Ile measure your tongue, that if it bee longer then mine it may be cut even: for it is my dutie being a gardner, to doe all b line and levell. That's no matter: so that you vtter the sillables full as I doe. Yes I make no question, though I lack a few teeth but I can swallow a sullebub as full as you. A sullebub. I did not speake of a sullebub. No? that you did. Ile be iudg'd by all this companie. No such matter. I sayd you must obserue every syllable. Go too then▪ I wooll: vp with it once againe. Canst thou tell what a sillable is? No, not I more then my dog. How wilt thou obserue them then if thou knowe not a sillable? Let me alone for that: Ile make a shift. Doe you say the word, and if there be ere a one there, Ile finde him I warrant you. Ere a one there man? why the word is fram'd of many sillables. Very well: how shood I misse them then? turne me loosse. Ile take it as soone as it peeps out of thy mouth as parats doe bread and butter. Come then marke well▪ His-to-ri-o-gra-phers. Ile lay ten pound to nothing, Ile not misse a straws breadth, His-to-ri-o-gra-fers. That's right indeed. Law, did no I tell you so? Nay you never had an apter scholler in your life then I am: twool doe you good to teach me. I am glad of it: this was soone learnt indeed: now put together, and speake it short as I did. I will: but you need not doubt that it's safe, & will never be lost. But to satisfie you Ile doe it, and that quickly, Histor-cockafurrs. Whoo: the longer the worse. This is your faut: that wood ha me say it so fast: & is a very survie word to hit, except a man haue a mouth made thereafter. I thinke you are fasting to day▪ and that hinders your speech: goe play and fill your bellie▪ and weele at it againe soone. Thanks gentle Master: and the next time you teach me, weele doe it very closely ant please you. For I doe not meane to be very lavish of my learning, when it shall bee at the biggest in no companie but yours. So doe all cunning folkes: be daintie of your skill▪ or else you shall never bee intreated at first, nor thank'd at last.