Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 21 of 68
Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals) satire; dialogue unassigned nearest T6 Money, debt and credit · 512 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T6: money, master, pound, law, lawyer, chain, gentleman, gold, pay, pray.
Sir I have brought the linen, she lent it willingly. So I saved the lie; she desires you to sup with her tonight. Ha, sup there? with all my heart. But how shall I do with my two eggs at home? they will be too stale, remember soon to carry them to the alehouse, but measure them well in your hand with griping. I will Sir. I would desire your counsel in a matter concerns myself. One Frith, a neighbour of yours desires to buy my land, whereof you have the writings, and will give me more than 'tis worth. What will you advise met to do? I think it not amiss to take his money, and put it out to use, and therein I can pleasure you. My scrivener shall do it as for me, and he will get good men for your money. I thank you Sir: then I will absolutely bargain with him, and send him to you for the writings. Do so: but be not long: for I have business instantly for you. What an Ass is this? doth he think I will let any man buy a thing so near my nose, but I will lay hold of it with my teeth? I will have his land do what he can. And I will have it one 40l the cheaper for this trick, that he will offer to sell it from me. He thinks belike to make a porter of me to carry his writings from Lawyer to Lawyer; but if I be, I willbe well paid for my pains. I have a device in my head, which I will extend to the uttermost, seeing he puts me to it. Trust? there's a trust with all my heart to serve other men's turns. No, I never loved that. I remember to have learned that charity begins with itself. And a Cook licks his own fingers before he dishes the meat for others. Do they not know what it is to get writings out of my hands? It seems they never entered bond to me. If they had, they would not presume thus. If nothing else would serve to hold them, yet this I can allege, that they are my security for his good behaviour (although I care not six pence for any security, because I never mean to trust him for a crowns worth of any thing. And I have all you to witness, that for his good behaviour he pawned them to me. I am glad to meet you here Sir, your man and I have bargained for his land not far from me, but very near you. Welcome neighbour Frith. Let me speak with you aside. Take heed what you do. His title is nought, else I would have had it myself, and you know it lies fit for me. But let him not know I said so. I were much to blame if I should Sir: no, I warrant you. I thank you for this caveat. I might soon have lost my money so.
seed 43: T9 · seed 44: T10 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Sir I haue brought the linnen, she lent it willingly. So I saued the lie; she desires you to suppe with her to night. Ha, suppe there? with all my heart. But how shal I doe with my two egges at home? they will bee too stale, remember soone to carrie them to the Al-house, but measure them well in your hand with griping. I will Sir. I would desire your counsell in a matter concernes my selfe. One Frith, a neighbour of yours desires to buy my land, whereof you haue the writings, and will giue me more then 'tis worth. What will you advise met to doe? I thinke it not amisse to take his monie, and put it out to vse, and therein I can pleasure you. My scrivener shall doe it as for me, and he will get good men for your monie. I thanke you Sir: then I will absolutely bargaine with him, and send him to you for the writings. Doe so: but bee not long: for I haue busines instantly for you. What an Asse is this? doth he thinke I will let any man buy a thing so neere my nose, but I will lay hold of it with my teeth? I will haue his land doe what he can. And I will haue it one 40• the cheaper for this tricke, that he will offer to sell it from me. He thinkes belike to make a porter of me to cary his writings from Lawyer to Lawyer; but if I be, I wilbe well payd for my paines. I haue a device in my head, which I will extend to the vttermost, seeing he puts me to it. Trust? there's a trust with all my heart to serue other mens turnes. No, I never Iou'd that. I remember to haue learn'd that charitie begins with it selfe. And a Cooke licks his owne fingers before he dihes the meate for others. Doe they not know what it is to get writings out of my hands? It seemes they neuer entred bond to me. If they had, they would not presume thus. If nothing els would serue to hold them, yet this I can alleage, that they are my securitie for his good behaviour (although I care not sixe pence for any securitie, because I neuer meane to trust him for a crownes worth of any thing. And I haue all you to witnes, that for his good behaviour he pawn'd them to me. I am glad to meete you heere Sir, your man and I haue bargain'd for his land not farre from me, but very neere you. Welcome neighbour Frith. Let me speake with you aide. Take heed what you doe. His title is naught, els I would haue had it my selfe, and you know it lies it for me. But let him not know I aid so. I were much to blame if I should Sir: no, I warrant you. I thanke you for this caveat. I might soone haue lost my money so.