Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 28 of 68
Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals) satire; dialogue unassigned nearest T44 Drinking: wine, ale and taverns · 465 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T44: drink, wine, numps, ale, butler, pot, sing, moy, drunk, win.
Nay, let that alone until another time. I understand already as much as I need for that matter: I must be gone. You shall stay to hear it; and let me have your judgement, whether I might not with a little reading prove a perfect urinalist. You are so troublesome when you fall into this case that I cannot skill of your company. I tell thee 'tis the best Physic that ever thou hadst. I believe it beforehand. What need you more? O Master Spurco, you are welcome: speak your mind freely: do not you think it better to sit merrily a whole winter's day, and most part of the night by a good fire, and command (like men of authority) the Tapster to fill us an Ocean of drink if we lift, and there among good fellows to hear more news than all the world knows to be true, than to toil and trash in the dirt without conversation, seldom coming near one another as Hunters do. No certainly. I hold it a beastly thing to sit besealing upon a bench, and suck in drink, as pigs do dregs in a trough: which custom although some base huntsmen, and Falconers use, yet if I did think that Hunting were as odious and displeasing to God as drunkenness is, I would soon dispatch my dogs. And I will free the Court from the foul & loathsome custom of drunkenness. For seldom and with very few it is used there. Officers, and order forbids it as unseemly for a PRINCE's palace. I wish we were as clear from Idleness, pride, disdain, envy, lechery, covetousness, flattery, lying, cozenage, oppression, and unthriftiness, as we are from drunkenness. marry Sir, these are vices enough. And except you were guilty of all the deadly sins, and breach of every commandment, I know not what you could add to these. The delights of hunting and hawking, as also of other exercises, were (no doubt) ordained by God to comfort man in his banishment here, and to give him a taste of the unspeakable pleasures in Heaven, (our own country) but the excess and abuse of any pastime, argues the receiver unreasonable, and turns the benefit into detriment. Of drunkards I say shortly and sharply; they deprave God's blessings, rob and murder the poor, undo the Commonwealth, bring Gods curse upon the country; deprive themselves of Heaven, and merit Hell. The Courtier (who ought to be the square of the country by his civil example) pulls upon himself the ruin of millions, and sinneth much with doing little. I am crushed in the head: no more drinking; farewell good Ale. Give me thy hand. we are all in little better case for any thing I hear by the judgement of wise men.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Nay, let that alone vntill an other time. I vnderstand alreadie as much as I neede for that matter: I must be gone. You shall stay to heare it; and let mee haue your iudgment, whether I might not with a little reading proue a perfect vrinalst. You are so troublesome when you fall into this case that I cannot skill of your companie. I tell thee 'tis the best Physicke that euer thou hadst. I beleeue it before-hand. What neede you more? O Master Spurco, you are welcome: speake your minde freely: doe not you thinke it better to sit merily a whole winters day, and most part of the night by a good fire, and command (like men of authoritie) the Tapster to fill vs an Ocean of drinke if we lift, and there among good fellowes to heare more newes then all the world knowes to be true, then to toyle and trash in the dirt without conversation, seldome comming neere one another as Hunters doe. No certainely. I hold it a beastly thing to sit besealing vpon a bench, and suck in drinke, as pigges do dregges in a trough: which custome although some base Huntimen, and Falconers vse, yet if I did thinke that Hunting were as odious and displeasing to God as drunkennesse is, I would soone dispatch my dogges. And I will free the Court from the fowle & loathsome custome of drunkennesse. For seldome and with very few it is vsed there. Officers, and order forbids it as vnseemly for a Princes palace. I wish we were as cleare from Idlenesse, pride, disdaine, envy, lecherie, covetousnesse, flattery, lying, cosenage, oppresson, and vnthriftines, as we are from drunkennesse. Mary Sir, these are vices enow. And except you were guilty of all the deadly sinnes, and breach of every commandement, I know not what you could adde to these. The delights of hunting and hawking, as also of other exercises, were (no doubt) ordained by God to comfort man in his banishment heere, and to giue him a taste of the vnspeakable pleasures in Heauen, (our owne cuntire) but the excesse and abuse of any pastime, argues the receiuer vnreasonable, and turnes the benefite into detriment. Of drunkards I say shortly and sharply; they deprave Gods blessings, robbe and murder the poore, vndoe the Common-wealth, bring Gods curse vpon the countrie; depriue themselues of Heauen, and merite Hell. The Courtier (who ought to bee the square of the countrie by his civill example) puls vpon himselfe the ruine of millions, and sinneth much with doing litle. I am crushed in the head: no more drinking; farewell good Ale. Giue me thy hand. Wee are all in little better case for any thing I heare by the iudgment of wise men.