Renaissance Drama — Topics · seed 42

Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 34 of 68

Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals)
satire; dialogue
unassigned nearest T33 Fathers, daughters and marriage negotiat · 501 words

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Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T33: daughter, marriage, father, love, davus, matter, son, chremes, wife, mother.

Yes: but what, shall women do it? Who else I pray you? shall beast's do it? Although women may not speak in the Church (which is great pity) yet we may preach in chambers, and men are tied to hear us. No, nor sluts neither: but men shall instruct men. jump. And so woman instruct women, and none of them shall come to other. And how shall there then be procreation of the holy ones, and the Israel of God be multiplied? Nay neighbour Hortano, I warrant you my wife will prove any thing she saith one way or other. But good wife, let me entreat one thing at your hands (if your spirit consent, that is, that I may call your son Jack my boy for my credit's sake. And that he may know no other but he is mine, and then shall I be quiet in mind, and think you deal very justly and liberally with me. With all my heart. And I profess unto you that he shall never know otherwise by me: but I doubt his generous spirit will not suffer him (after a few years of discretion) to tarry long in that error, but that he will heroically disdain to have you otherwise accounted of then his reputed father: and that he is rather the son of some zealous brother, who never sees the Relics of Charing-Cross, but wisheth he were on horseback with a lance in his hand, in full speed to bear it down. And yet his mother extreme honest for all this. All this I steadfastly believe. And I am afraid my own weakness willbe the first discoverer, and plead not guilty to getting of such a son. Nevertheless (good wife) I cannot choose but thank you much for your kindness, that he shallbe called my son, that men may think so nobly yet of me to do such a deed. And for you wife) I will swear you are a very honest woman for all this. No husband. You shall not swear so rashly. I thank you as much as though you did. Your faith shall save you without swearing. Was ever man more blessed with a wife than I am? (Than he holds his hands before his face, & falls to a silent meditation a prery while, at last fetching a great sigh, he saith) The Lord make me thankful. (Than he hides his face with his hands again, and so standeth a while sighing and sobbing, until Hortano shake him by the arm, saying). How now Rustico, what wilt thou do: kill thyself with this same foolish zeal? pluck up a good heart, and live to see thy boy a man. A man. He is a man already at six years age by his great stomach; and I think in my conscience I am not half his father. But I beshrew you for troubling me, you have done you know not what: for I was even melting into a martyr.
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Details

Metadata, position in the edition, topic in the other seeds
PlayTwo Wise Men and All the Rest Fools
AuthorAnonymous
Publication year (edition)1619
First performance / composition (Annals)1619 [1613-1619]
First performance (BritDrama)1619 [1613-1619]
Genre (British Drama)satire; dialogue
Play typeNonprofessional;Private;University/Inns of Court
Edition / TCP / DEEPedition 813 · TCP A18423 · DEEP 675
Edition roleRepresentative edition — used in the analysis
Positionnodes 381–391 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 34 of 68 in this edition
Length501 words · 611 tokens
Topic (seed 42)unassigned by HDBSCAN · nearest topic T33 — Fathers, daughters and marriage negotiations at 0.684
Other seedsseed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Yes: but what, shall women doe it? Who els I pray you▪ shall beasts doe it? Although women may not speake in the Church (which is great pity) yet we may preach in chambers, and men are tyed to heare vs. No, nor sluts neither: but men shall instruct men. Iump. And so womnn instruct women, and none of them shall come to other. And how shall there then be procreation of the holy ones, and the Israell of God bee multiplied? Nay neighbour Hortano, I warrant you my wife will proue any thing she saith one way or other. But good wife, let me intreate one thing at your hands (if your spirit cōsent, that is, that I may call your son Iacke my boy for my credit sake. And that he may know no other but he is mine, and then shall I be quiet in minde, and thinke you deale verie iustlie and liberallie with me. With all my heart. And I professe vnto you that hee shall neuer know otherwise by me: but I doubt his generous spirit will not suffer him (after a few yeares of discretion) to tarrie long in that errour, but that he will heroicallie disdaine to haue you otherwise accompted of then his reputed father: and that he is rather the sonne of some zealous brother, who neuer sees the Relikes of Charing-crosse, but wisheth hee were on horse-backe with a launce in his hand, in full speed to beare it downe. And yet his mother extreame honest for all this. All this I stedfastlic wprd. And I am afraide my owne weakenes wilbe the first discoverer, and pleade not guiltie to getting of such a sonne. Nevertheles (good wife) I cannot chuse but thanke you much for your kindnes, that he shalbe called my sonne, that men may thinke so noblie yet of me to doe such a deed. And for you wife) I will sweare you are a verie honest woman for all this. No husband. You shall not sweare so rashlie. I thanke you as much as though you did. Your saith shall saue you without swearing. Was ever man more blessed with a wife then I am? (Then he holds his hands before his face, & fals to a silent meditation a prery while, at last fetching a great sigh, hee saith) The Lord make me thankfull. (Then he hdes his face with his hands againe, and so standeth a while sighing and sobbing, ntill Hortano shake him by the arme, saying). How now Rustico, what wilt thou doe: kill thy selfe with this same foolish zeale? plucke vp a good heart, and liue to see thy boy a man. A man. He is a man already at sixe yeares age by his great stomacke; and I thinke in my conscience I am not halfe his father. But I beshrew you for troubling mee, you haue done you know not what: for I was euen melting into martir.