Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 37 of 68
Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals) satire; dialogue T6 Money, debt and credit typicality 0.78 · 511 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of T6: money, master, pound, law, lawyer, chain, gentleman, gold, pay, pray.
O, I could fit these fellows to a hair. I could devise them a crest as fit as a fan for a forehorse. Proberio: here is Noverindo hath a piece of employment for you, and thinks you can discharge it well if you list. And I'll see you well considered. It is this. That you move the Heralds to give the company. Crest with the due circumstances. And go in my name they will do it the more freely. Sir I am the only man for such a business. If the Herald cannot aptly conceive it, I can instruct him. I'll undertake to have it speedily. Thanks Proberio: and thou shalt not travail for unthankful persons. Sir, it will cost 10l besides somewhat for expedition: and I must have it ready to pay: for I will not come from him till I bring it. Here is 10l and a piece for expedition: and another for thy pains: study hard to have it exactly done, thou shalt have two pieces more. stay, one word before you go. Let it be somewhat terrible to the beholders: we'll make them do (that same) in their breeches. But so you may scar them quite away, they will come there no more. I warrant: thee: if they were sure to go to prison within a while after, they will come again for money. They are very venturous: nay desperate: nay foolhardy. O, money is money, and they must have it. Say no more, I'll be your warrant, it shall be fearful enough. and make some of you stain the place you stand in, and look backward what drops behind you. Let me alone, I'll dress you as you should be trimmed 30 in the 100. I'll not forget that upon my word. It is even high time the world were at an end, for I think all trades are decaying: when my father put me to the Inns of Court he advised me in any case to study, so that I might be called to the bar, and then (saith he) fear not to live in all plenty and credit. But I find it otherwise, for now that I am exalted thither, my law serves me not to get my commons. I wish I had been bred a Tapster: that trade is now more gainful with froth than ours with all our words. And for any thing I see 'tis like to last to the world's end, whereas ours can be good no longer than people be contentious. And that is a special argument the ale. sellers use against us, saying that we gain by falling out of neighbours, & friends but they grow rich by meeting of good fellows, and sitting together lovingly. There are so many hindrances grown up of late that it is impossible our reign should long continue although it be true (and we complain not) that malice is as great among men as ever it was, and can be wished: but the mischief is, their money fails, & they grow wiser.
nodes 419–428 (positions in the processed text, not lines of the printed book) · chunk 37 of 68 in this edition
Length
511 words · 641 tokens
Topic (seed 42)
T6 — Money, debt and creditcross-work theme (confirmed, in the genre comparison) · typicality 0.782 (cosine to the topic centroid)
Other seeds
seed 43: T9 · seed 44: T10 — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
O, I could fit these fellowes to a haire. I could devise them a crest as fit as a fan for a forhorse. Proberio: here is Noverindo hath a peece of imploiment for you, and thinks you can discharge it well if you list. And Ile see you well considred. It is this. That you moue the Heraulds to giue the companie. Crest with the due circumstances. And goe in my name they will doe it the more freelie. Sir I am the onlie man for such a businesse. If the Herauld cannot aptly conceaue it, I can instruct him. Ile vndertake to haue it speedilie. Thanks Proberio: and thou shalt not travaile for vnthankfull persons. Sir, it wil cost 10l besides somwhat for expedition: and I must haue it readie to paie: for I will not come from him till I bring it. Here is 10l and a peece for expedition: and another for thy paines: studie hard to haue it exactly done, thou shalt haue two peeces more. staie, one word before you goe. Let it bee somewhat terrible to the beholders: weele make them do (that same) in their breeches. But so you may scarre them quite awaie, they will come there no more. I warran: thee: if they were sure to goe to prison within a while after, they will come againe for monie. They are verie ventrous: nay desperate: nay foolchardy. O, monic is monie, and they must haue it. Saie no more, Ile be your warrant, it shall bee fearefull enough. and make some of you staine the place you stand in, and looke backward what drops behind you. Let me alone, Ile dresse you as you should bee trim'd 30 in the 100. Ile not forget that vpon my word. It is even high time the world were at an end, for I think all trades are decaying: when my father put me to the Innes of Court he advised me in anie case to studie, so that I might be called to the barre, and then (saith he) feare not to liue in all plentie and credit. But I find it otherwise, for now that I am exalted thither, my law serues mee not to get my commons. I wish I had beene bred a Tapster: that trade is now more gainefull with froth then ours with all our words. And for anie thing I see tis like to last to the worlds end, whereas ours can be good no longer then people bee contentious. And that is a speciall argument the ale. sellers vse against vs, saying that we gaine by falling out of neighbours, & frends but they grow rich by meeting of good fellowes, and sitting together lovinglie. There are so manie hinderances grownevp of late that it is impossible our raigne should long continue although it be true (and wee complaine not) that malice is as great among men as ever it was, and can be wished: but the mischiefe is, their monie failes, & they grow wiser.