Two Wise Men and All the Rest Fools · chunk 48 of 68
Anonymous · published 1619 · first performed or written 1619 [1613-1619] (Annals) satire; dialogue unassigned nearest T6 Money, debt and credit · 525 words
Marked words are the most distinguishing words of the nearest topic T6: money, master, pound, law, lawyer, chain, gentleman, gold, pay, pray.
Sir Hermito. If you be not. I am weary with hearing such variety of vice. The soldier that was wont to be the honour of every country he came in, and a glory of his own, is now become odious abroad, and intolerable at home. The intelligencer might do good service if you could devise to keep him from doing hurt, which is as hard as to restrain a man of war having letters of Mart from robbing his own country men. The Musician that ought to present nothing evil founding, is now the setter of all unsavoury sonnets. His office was to teach the measures and dances of order and comeliness, not the lofty Levalto and tricks of intemperance. I assure you Master Securus those things are as distasteful to me as to any other. And I am so much the safer that I live from their sight and knowledge. The Soldier, the Spy, and the Musician have their several abuses much degenerating from their first institutions; if any man can persuade them to repair unto my cell, I will do my best to reform them. How now Simple, what's the news now? Marry I was never in such a scurvy case in my life. What is it? hast thou the pox? No, 'tis worse. that's but a toy, 'tis the plague. I am so pestered with yonder woman Susanna Richardson. She says you did tear liar bill of 10l. she scolds, she tails; she threatens to dwell with you, to lay her child at your door, and set up the cause upon your gate: and every thing she will do until she be agreed withal. She makes me weary of my life: she follows me like a ghost: and now she stands at door. If you had not been here she had never left me, but she cannot abide to see you. All this I little care for; but there's a thing in it. I fear the Star-chamber because she hath witness (or else I would not care neither) I must agree with her, bid her come in. You showed me an old rotten note other day. 'tis not worth two pence. What would you have? I owe you nothing. The note was worth 10l till you fingered it, now 'tis not worth a halfpenny indeed: but if you will give me nothing, I will tell the King. I am a poor widow, he will help me. The King woman? Alas, he hath great business, never trouble him with this toy. I'll give thee somewhat in charity, but not a penny of duty. Charity? that would I fain see from you. Pay first the 10l which is due, and then bestow your charity. Well, woman, here is 50 shillings with a good will: take this, or get more any way you can. I should have had an ounce, here is but a quarter. I am poor, therefore I am constrained to take this, but I leave the rest upon your conscience still. Nay, than I care not, we'll do well enough with conscience Simple. I am glad 'tis at an end in Law.
seed 43: unassigned · seed 44: unassigned — topic numbers are assigned independently in each run; equal or different numbers say nothing by themselves
Original spelling (EEBO-TCP, unregularized)
Sir Hermito▪ If you bee no. I am wearie with hearing such varietie of vice. The souldier that was wont to be the honour of everie countrie he came in, and a glorie of his owne, is now become odious abroad, and intollerable at home. The intelligencer might doe good service if you could devise to keepe him from doing hurt, which is as hard as to restraine a man of warre hauing letters of Mart from robbing his owne countrie men. The Musician that ought to present nothing euill founding, is now the setter of all vnsauerie sonnets. His office was to teach the measures and daunces of order and comelines, not the loftie Lvalto and tricks of ntemperance. I assure you Master Securus those things are as distastefull to me as to anie other. And I am so much the safer that I liue from their sight and knowledge. The Souldier, the Spie, and the Musician haue their severall abuses much degenerating from their first institutions; if anie man can perswade them to repaire vnto my cell, I will doe my best to reforme them. How now Simple, what's the newes now? Marrie I was never in such a scurvie case in my life. What is it? hast thou the pox? No, tis worse. that's but a toy, tis the plague. I am so pestred with yonder woman Susanna Richardson. She saies you did teare lier bill of 10. she scoulds, she tailes; she threatens to dwell with you, to lay her child at your doore, and set vp the cause vpon your gate: and everie thing hee will doe vntill she be agreed withall. She makes me wearie of my life: she followes me like a ghost: and now she stands at dore. If you had not beene heere shee had neuer left m, but she cannot abide to see you. All this I little care for; but there's a thing in it. I feare the Sta-chaer because shee hath wines (or els I would not care neither) I must agree with her, bid her come in. You shewed me an old rotten note tother day. Tis not worth two pence. What would you haue I owe you nothing. The note was worth 10• till you flgred it, now tis not worth a halfe-penie indeed: but if you will giue me nothing, I will tell the King. I am a poor widow, he will help me. The King woman? Alas, he hath great businesse, neuer trouble him with this toy. Ile giue hee somewhat in charitie, but not a penie of duetie. Charitie? that would I faine see from you. Pay first the 10• which is due, and then bestow your charitie. Well, woman, heere is 50 shillings with a good will: take this, or get more anie way you can. I should haue had an ounce, heere is but a quarter. I am poore, therefore I am constrained to take this, but I leaue the rest vpon your conscience still. Nay, then I care not, we'l doe well enough with conscience Simple. I am glad tis at an end in Law.